Monday, January 22, 2018

The Presidents Manchuck

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Like everyone in the world, we all love Chuck Norris the toughest man on planet earth. The problem is I hate Chuck Norris movies. They are horrid things in being below C Movie rank. The actors are all bad and that does not help Mr. Norris as he could not act, and only became an OK actor during Walker Texas Ranger.

That is why when I saw the 2000 released of The Presidents Man, I mocked it in the dialogue as what else can you do, as Chuck is not Wings Hauser, is not Joaquin Phoenix and is only approaching the great Jan Michael Vincent in dramatic pause, but Chuck is too nice to be snarky like JMV bad ass.

What amazed me was Chuck's action sequence in the first minutes of this movie has:

Chuck is the human bomb loaded out of a Stealth Fighter.

Chuck is dropped as a human bomb out of a Stealth Fighter over Rio.

Chuck parachutes into Rio and flies by the Jesus statue.

Chuck lands on the roof of terror hotel which holds the First Lady hostage

Chuck fights it out with terrorists on the roof.

Chuck jumps off the roof of the hotel and as the human bomb blows through the glass window.

Chuck kills two terrorists holding the First Lady

Chuck jumps out of the hotel window with the First Lady in a blaze of bullets.

Chuck parachutes down to the ocean

Chuck drops the First Lady into the ocean for Navy SEALS.

Chuck flies his parachute back to America!!!!

I mean that is Chuck AWESOMENESS with four exclamation points!!!!

The rest of the show is people you hope get killed, except of course for the two Asians as I love Soon Tec Oh as an actor who goes bonzai with Chuck in bad ass Chuck Fu Judo high action drama.
Best part is the sound  track, no not the songs, but the broken bones that come crunching through the speakers.
Soon Tec Oh is so cool that his hair does not get messed up. I mean dude gets his head driven into the ground and Chuck breaks his neck and he still got the perm going on.


Jennifer Tung is the hot Asian chic. This is her pictured below, but she is not dressed like this in the movie, as Chuck don't allow no porn in his movies. Chuck is all Japan Tea and Stealth human bomb drop. No time for titty shots now that Chuck is a big star.


Do not fear though as there is like a franchise in this, as Chuck don't destroy franchises like Ben Affleck did Batman.

That is the bad movie review of Chuck Norris, the man we all love, but I just have never been able to figure out why like Steven Seagal that no one ever casts a cast with him to make the movie better than something than Matt Damon gets photographed in.

Nuff Said