Grow a pair and let's fight a duel James Coburn style
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I am watching Jimmy Coburn on the Twilight Zone, and the show sucks, but James Coburn is the prototype for the greatest actor of all time in Joaquin Phoenix. Anyway the show had some military bullies carrying around those M 30 guns, you know like the Ruger Mini 14, fine looking rifles and all that stuff, as JC was waving his knife around.
Anyway this is about Jonathan Martin...no that is not his name, let me look, oh yeah it is, but I thought this was that David Martin at CBS. Anyway here is the idea as everyone in California is terrified of him not from kneeling in the NFL, but because he posts pictures about being bullied by the NFL.
Here is the photo which liberals find disturbing.
Ok, so the cops are questioning him and all that, but I think we should pass a federal law and call it Martin's Law. It is a simple law where America makes dueling legal again.
See Tom Gresham at Gun Talk was talking about this awhile back where he said kids used to get to fight on playgrounds to settle things. Took about a minute to get things sorted out. I would add that if it was some big ass bully that the boy or girl could get in two good licks starting out to make things fair, and then let them go at it, as even a bully is going to figure out that bullying does not pay, as getting kicked in the gonads a few times a week would take the fun out of picking on other kids.
Make this like from 5 to 18 in kid fights to sort things out, and when it is 18 and older, you do that Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton thing. They wrote to each other for months before they fought the duel and Hamilton died, so it would give things time to settle out.........you know like a waiting period, like it would be Martin's Law and the Trump Waiting period, where, you get to challenge someone who is making your life shit, and then you wait 6 months in writing each other. Give times to settle out and back down in someone could say something like, "I did not mean to insult you so please accept my apology", and then the reply is, "Yes misunderstandings happen and I accept your apology".
Sure there will be some toilet flush heads which will still want to knock it out, but the Bible allows for cowards to flee to some other city where they can't be killed. Call that the Billy Graham law.
I am Billy Graham and the Bible says to legalize dueling,
eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth by the law
and cowards can run away to cities to die as cowards.
Of course there would be those who liked fighting duels and killing people, but in the law of odds some second would appear who would knock off the psycho.
As there are no gun laws that will ever stop this violence caused by Americans not having any dreams, you simply legalize the violence in a positive way and let people go at it. That solves everything as after the first year or so people will get thinned out and they will behave.
I am Alfred Hitchcock and I approve of this message.
Oh and if someone challenges some notable person to gain fame, that person could appeal to a judge to get a second named, and that would solve that too as no glory whore wants to be stuck getting their balls shot off by some Border Patrol marksman.
Oh I call that the Alfred Hitchcock Amendment.
See Donald Trump appoints Jonathan Martin to the bench an Judge Jonathan rules on these cases and appoints seconds in duels for celebrities.
So let's forget all this infrastructure and gun control legislation and just make it legal again to fight duels. That will solve everything just like it used to solve everything from Bible times to the time that Hamilton went coffin cold.
That is about it in another Lame Cherry solution in matter anti matter.
One more thing, yes with women's rights, women get to challenge and shoot all the men in duels they care to, providing of course they are not suffering from PMS that day. Let's call that the Shauna Cernovich Amendment as that woman is hotter than Thai Peppers and she should be honored in having some law named for her in bringing peace to the land.
Men the world over duel just to say my name!!!
Oh two more things, America in snowflakes would only abuse things in French Rules as the French had like 40 paces so they never killed each other. It would just be to fashionable, America needs ye goode olde English rules in 10 paces and turn and fire to get things done. Got to scare people to get them to behave.
Call that the...........I just can't think of any attractive English people, so let's call it the Kim Yo Jong rule as she doesn't mess around with things. Yes big sharp swords and big heavy pistols, all up close.
I am Kim Yo and I killed my own brother to bring peace
to North Korea.