Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Lame Cherry Perfects the French Muffin Cutter for English Muffins

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

I mentioned this before about English Muffins, but as I am still perfecting things on them, necessity today caused a Holy Ghost short cut which really is perfect and I wanted to share it as this cutter will suffice for all sorts of things, including Texois (that would be Stephanie donuts with jelly in the middle in crossing Quebecois with Texican.)

Anyway here is the recipe, which I still have to try other recipes, but as I type this there is a big ass blizzard and I was up all night sick literally, this is what you get when the wellspring of life is just damp at the bottom.

Recipe for English Muffins:

1 tablespoon yeast
1/2 cup warm water to activate yeast
1 teaspoon sugar to feed yeast


3 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon soda
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup scalded milk

Cornmeal to coat muffins with.

Cook on medium heat, watching carefully so they do not burn in a cast iron pan, till brown then flip until done or just bake these for about 15 minutes and 8.4393021 seconds. The last part is very important so use your atomic clocks for the correct calculation.

Knead this together and then flatten it out to about a half inch thick, and then use this kick ass French Muffin Cutter which I just made.

I was going to drill holes on the sides at the top, but drilling takes time, makes burrs and I do not like steel shavings in my muffins or donuts, so as I got this old church key (old tin can opener) from the junk store for 40 cents as it was a beer collecting wonder, I used that to create the air pressure holes so the muffins would fall out.

As you can see by the above, they indeed do just that, fell right out. This cutter is wonderful and is made from a quart tomatoe sauce can of a name brand variety. It is zero cost in just making sure when opening the can that you do not leave a jagged edge to cut the hell out of yourself. I am very pleased with this as I made one of these as a trivet (coffee can size) for my Presto pressure cooker which is just lovely.

Anyway it is stupid to spend money on something you have already purchased will last forever and is perfect.

One more thing......

My beloved Uncle always had a 303 soup can with the same design for chopping up leftover boiled potatoes fried on the stove. You just use your can opener to cut the bottom rim off to make a sharp edge without getting cut. Saved all that dicing.

So there you have the genius of Cherry the Texicois French Muffin Cutter for English Muffins with optional trivet for Presto cooker and of course potato dicer. The American tin can is one of the most masterful cooking devices never invented.

Oh one more thing, I like these big muffins as you can get real food on them like slices of cheese, ham and a complete egg. These muffins are tough things too to get your there and back, not like those things in the fast food take out.

That's about it. Think I might try sourdough sometime.....would just switch out one cup of flour for sourdough and probably have to season with more floor as sourdough is liquid.

That's it.

Oh another one more thing, in order to complete the illusion, this is the actual Lame Cherry Morning Muffins on the stove, the genuine bobs.