Lame Cherry: Fire on Fire Review

Why in hell did I agree to be in this movie!

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

In need of a cheap movie diversion for my birthday, we came home with Fire with Fire, a movie with Bruce Willis who basically disappeared for the entire movie as it was 2012 and was probably hiding from Obama, but this is the basic story.

A white firefighter, has coon friends, who a white Nazi shoots, and tries to kill him. I don't quite get why one of the Nazi is that British soccer guy, Vinnie Jones, but when they kill him, the movie drags.

Anyway, the firefighter is banging a federal police officer who is Black, and is being threatened by the Nazi, so the firefighter goes to the good guys, the Black crypts, gets a gun and starts murdering Nazis.

I can't act, but I ain't big ass Michelle Obama either sistah!

This movie sucks because Willis is in it and is not in it. It sucks because the firefighter is Josh Duhamel. It sucks because the Black chic is Rosario Dawson who can't act. It sucks because Vincent D'Ofornio is the Nazi, and gives such a Powers Booth image of Jim Jones, that D'Ofornio comes off as the racist portraying a racist.
On and D'Ofornio looks like crazy Tom Arnold in this movie.

Are you the skinhead or am I?

I actually like this liberal actor's work on Law and Order, but the dude just is not as intellectual as he thinks he is, and it always shows in real life.

The main point in this is movie sucks, except for the few action sequences. Other than that, the white on black sex was repulsive as the actors are not appealing, and 50 Cent is unbelievable as the kinder and gentler face of Crypts.

I think I'm going to puke.

Oh Josh Duhamel pukes a great deal as some kind of statement that he just can not stomach the violence he is engaged in, or getting kidney punched by the kinder and gentler Crypts.

I would like to make this movie over with actors and give Willis something to do. I would slap D'Ofornio around a few hours to tell him to stop being a racist against Nazi's and just play the Nazi for what a Nazi is, as they are over the top enough.

I'm Vinnie, I could make dog shit watchable!

I would cast Vinnie Jones as the firefighter, and honest to God cast Kayne West as the head of the Crypts, or at least that guy from CSI California. I think if you put a wanker like Jones head to head with that Rosario Dawson she would fly, as she at least can show up on screen acting, but she needs a man to get something out of her. Then again Vinnie Jones could replace Vincent D'Ofornio too if he could not get his racism under control, as the premise that Nazi's are taking over Nigger Crypt gang territory is bullshit, as Obama was importing MS 13 to take over Chicago form the Homies and the Mexicans.

Yes I know you wanted me naked....

Oh and Bonnie Summerville is the hot DA, who is just there to show everyone what they are missing with the coloured on the screen with the racist liberals. I mean why put some hot blonde in a movie and not have someone roughing her up out of the shower or sometime, or her masturbating to Nazis. You just got to give a woman something to do than be Bruce Willis' eye candy.

So if you want to wait around for the action, not the sex, not the story, and can stomach watching a racist liberal being racist against racists, then this is probably a watchable movie with a few beers or shots of whiskey. It was a cheap movie on sale in the Thrift, so that sort of explains why it was in the pile of stuff no one wants to watch.

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
	Josh Duhamel	...	Jeremy Coleman
	Bruce Willis	...	Mike Cella
	Rosario Dawson	...	Talia Durham
	Vincent D'Onofrio	...	David Hagan
	50 Cent	...	Lamar (as Curtis Jackson)
	Julian McMahon	...	Robert
	Vinnie Jones	...	Boyd
	Arie Verveen	...	Darren
	Eric Winter	...	Adam
	Bonnie Somerville	...	Karen Westlake