As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
As I have mentioned, a really big deal catholic went tits up around here, so I was curious and did the live feed as I knew the kids at least by sight, and was interested in what the years had done and what else was going on.
Now I have been to 4 catholic tit's up rites. They were all odd, not Christian and left me wondering in most cases, "What was that" and "I'm glad God did not strike me dead for being there".
This time was no different and I thought I would share some of the play by play as these are things I never saw before and they made no sense.
So the service, about all I got to see was a bunch of geezers on stage doing catholic things, with my insurance salesman guy in the camera most of the time as that is where the camera was.
So skipping that, I went to the dead rites at the catholic knob. So I'm watching, I think I see the gal I knew, really looking floral and old I'm waiting for the dozen kids, the tears, the you know the funeral stuff, and it is more like people at the grocery store.
We come now to the part which I still do not understand. So I think this old tits up's son was the guy doing the rites. They put the casket down, and he walks up and takes the roses off the casket and takes off that catholic cross thing, the slim one, side steps his way back and then I spot the undertaker, who the padre starts out with, "THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE! THIS WAS FOR US!"
I was still trying to figure out if the US was the padre posse in some relic was not supposed to be removed from the church, but the mortician was like trying to explain his way out of it with, "The deacon gave it to me and we put it on the casket and after the service we give it to the oldest child".
Apparently this was the Brier Patch Inquisition. An abrupt, "I will give it to the oldest then", and things seemed to be settling down a bit, but I was wondering what the deal was in taking flowers off a casket that people who apparently loved the old gal had placed on there.......so it was a big FU to their feelings. Never seen that before and never seen a casket being treated like it was the Altar in Jerusalem in no touchy no feely.
Now if this was the tits up kid, his next question was odd and he looks around and says, "Is everyone here?" This is his family and he doesn't know who is missing? Maybe the other kids of the 12 were in back behind the camera, but it didn't look like the kids came. I know it was hot as bajesus out that day, but no emotion, no people, for a catholic icon.....she was some benedictan oblate too, but I do not know if she was bragging or why that was important as her vagina was owned by the pope and all else was bi product.
I pretty much quit watching in saving internet, right after the 5 year olds were called up and told to hang onto things, but the girl could set them down until it was needed as her's was heavy, the boy got a rites book bigger than him and he just had to sweat it out.
There was one addition in this which puzzled me in this live mic as I thought none of this should be going out and being recorded, but the padre is sliding around by the casket and I kind of figured the padre was the head cheese, but he kept acting like the mortician was in charge and his big brother, when he was not giving him the Brier Patch Inquisition........so anyway this part I'm still not getting, but the grandkids dump the casket on the belts over the grave. The head stone is on the right so her feet are there. The padre then says, "I feel like I should be at the head stone but her head is down there, so he slides over to the head and that is where the heavy objects and children being tortured are.
I kind of only know normal cemeteries, you know public and Lutheran. The Lutherans always bury their dead facing the east, you know that sun shining east to west thing, so I don't quite get the foot at the head stone. As I said it reminded me grocery shopping and I have concluded these catholics do not know their ass from a hole in the wall.
Now I have been to the rites where I was afraid of being hit by lightning. I have been to rites where the padre did magic tricks with the wine and bread and talked of government power. I have been to book of wisdom readings. I have been to the poor folks trying to get the purgatory mob on stage with their meager donations, but this is the first time I saw an Inquisition over relics, flowers grabbed off a casket and tossed aside, feet at the head, and a padre not knowing if some of his family was missing.
This padre gets allot of "He is my padre", but from what I saw, he is dumb as a post. Dense as hell. I do not understand what I have seen really, no more than the pile of comments about how great this person was by......catholics.
I plan when it cools off to stop by this inquisition scene and replay it like a scene of the crime to see if it makes a bit more sense. I doubt it, but at least it will help me believe what I have seen, as I'm in denial at the moment as I never have seen people act this way, unless it is catholics doing the dead rites things.
The last thing was........or is.........I hope to God that God is merciful to me that I never start wearing old geezer clothes. What I mean by this is, I think the gal I knew, she is kind of stocky now from being a beauty queen, has this hair going on, walks like she played in the NFL, and was wearing.......this Mod Squad floral print thing. You know what I mean in old women get into wearing like some kind of disease, these colored things, that all look polyester, look like shit and you wonder why no one tells them they look like shit. Well this gal had on this big sky blue thing with big colours, like you would see on a World War II destroyer, big splotches of colour.
So it kind of occurs to me after I posted this for publication, that ...........:"Who the hell wears bright colours to a funeral, unless you are celebrating tits up is dead?"
Anyway, it is always good to close out a burial with quoting Spiderman. Never heard that one before either at a funeral. The padres are so hip.
Is why I'm still pondering what I saw and did not believe.
Nuff Said
agtG
