Damn tastes like Ma's bean soup.
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As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I was reading another uninformed prepper article talking about how long beans can be stored. I have a story about that, but let us begin this with what preppers never inform you of, in all beans, peas and lentils TASTE LIKE DIRT.
If you are going to eat that shit non stop, you had better have equal volumes of brown sugar, tomato sauce and assorted seasonings and spices, from salt, black pepper, thyme, bay leaves and what your sanity will depend on is bouillon in a jar.
Yes beans are protein in the cheap durable form, but they all taste like dirt unless you hide them and I can assure you, that if you eat that shit a few times a day, it is going to get old. Bread is the staff of life. Jesus never talked about lentils. God put people in the land of milk and honey...........not garbanzo and pea.
The mother had a drop draw cupboard. I watched this bag of yellow split peas all of my youth. I think around the time I was .......well the old man was dead then, so I was in my late 20's, I decided to cook those peas up. I used a Presto Hissy Pot, so it was pressurized, and those damned peas were still crunchy after hours of cooking.
Just be warned, that shit keeps, but it tastes like dirt and it chews like mud clods.
Your best bet for beans is Navy pea beans. They are the most, less offensive, unless you get into things like I have used in Hidatsa Sheild Figure Beans. All beans are not interchangeable. Meaning you can't make bean soup or baked beans out of Garbanzo and get what you want. Some paste up. These worst bean in the world are those Goddamn Great Northern beans.
I have a story on that.
My old man was a cheap bastard, like you non donors. Oh he always was poor until it came to himself in spending money on him........like you non donors. The mother was an ok cook until that old bastard got sick, then we had to eat the shit he did, no salt and it is just bad memories.
The one thing she could make was bean soup, but she would fuck that up to, in put in a ham bone, leave the splinters in the soup and all that fat. Taste was good but it was a navigation of danger in her fucking soup.
So I sat down one time and thought, "What the hell is this. This tastes like shit!". Bean soup was great, and then it was dirt. Took me a long time, in fact years to figure out that the old man started buying them Goddamn Great Northern beans as they were cheaper than Navy beans. I mean it was like fucking 10 cents a bag difference, but that tight old bastard would fuck everyone over like non donors to keep money. I mean the old man was like my asshole brother in law, Tom the Asshole, who will eat shit non stop, ruin every Christian holiday with shit food that is cheap, suffer, so he can get some fucking toy to inflate his little dick size that no one cares about. It is just nuts to suffer eating bad food, but assholes do that shit and my old man was a master as both he and the asshole Tom can shovel any Goddamn chow down by the ladle and call it food and it is tastes like shit.
Ok here is the prepper list of beans with my commentary.
- Azuki beans – 45 to 55 minutes
- Anasazi beans – 60 minutes
- Black beans – 60 to 90 minutes OK BEAN
- Black-eyed peas – 60 minutes MARGINAL
- Cannellini beans – 60 minutes
- Fava beans – 40 to 50 minutes
- Garbanzo/Chickpeas – 60 to 120 minutes
- Great northern beans – 45 to 60 minutes TASTES LIKE SHIT
- Green split peas – 45 minutes OK IF YOU ARE STARVING
- Yellow split peas – 60 to 90 minutes
- Green peas (whole) – 60 to 120 minutes
- Kidney beans – 60 minutes DIRT
- Lentils – 45 to 60 minutes CAMEL SHIT DIRT
- Lentils (Red or yellow) – 20 to 30 minutes
- Lima beans/butter beans – 45 to 60 minutes
- Mung beans – 60 minutes
- Navy beans – 45 to 60 minutes BEST BEAN
- Pinto beans – 60 to 90 minutes MEXICAN SHIT DIRT
- Soybeans – 60 to 120 minutes
So you can see the list is short. I also will inform you that I have very little beans in our prep stores. Hey Black Beans and Rice or Red Beans with Cajun or Cuban seasoning....pretty good with pork products, but the emphasis is on the pork, and I hate pork as pork gets old unless it is bacon or sausage.
I have rice, I have flour, I have vegetable seeds and potoates by Gods Grace. I have seasonings, spices and bouillon. I have firearms to go kill meat for flavoring, including the BONES. Let other people suffer and go nuts eating those fucking beans.
I make split pea or bean soup, once a winter, usually have it five times, and that is more than enough of that shit and I make quality soup which is delicious. I do not want to eat that shit if my lights are out, I'm buring wood, miserable, pissed off and frustrated as it will give me a gut ache and make me fart. Sure the Plainsmen ate lots of beans, but not just fucking beans. They had lots of things to cover up those damned beans and when they hit civilization or meat, they ate real food, not that shit.
Just go do what you want though as you non donors got this all figured out. Buy lots of beans, tons of them and then sit there with them with your wet firewood and your microwave pot trying to boil them up in all that smoke.
Enjoy eating dirt.
agtG
