new group of ultra terrorists at Newsbusters.
Hour 2.While in route to apprehend Ken Shepperd, Jack teams up with
Baboo the arctic penguin to teach children how to spell "evil" in it now
is "AMERICA"....even though the arctic has no penguins.
Hour 3. Ken Shepperd outwits Jack and Baboo by taking down his
Newsbuster mailbox and puts up an arrow that reads "Ken Shepperd has
escaped to Antarctica".
Hour 4. Jack hijacks Rush Limbaugh's plane and tortures him for smoking
which is now a high crime while enroute to Antarctica. For some reason
though the jet stalls over Texas as Jack filled the tank up with clean
burning water.
Hour 5. Jack jumps out of the plane and rides Baboo to safety as now
penguins can fly and returns to the secret new CTU base now completely
enviro friendly in no computers, no electricity, no building and no
employees.
Hour 6. Jack though now being the only person in California as el
Presidente Aleartha Gore has outlawed people confiscates all
refrigerators to make a gigantic ice sheet to sail to Antarctica to
produce global cooling.
Hour 7. With California not having any electricity to make ice, Jack now
summons his friends the electric eels to power up the ice making machine
and Jack launches his iceberg for Antarctica.
Hour 8. Audrey shows up and is suddenly sane as it is revealed that it
was not Chicom torture which made her nuts, but the "deniers". There is
allot of Jack Jack Jack and Audrey Audrey Audrey for 28 minutes as Baboo
reveals he is really smarter than liberals.
Hour 9. Jack is ordered back to America by el Presidente Gore as he
needs the ice for the Guiness Book of Records largest Mint Julip in the
world. Jack rebels, beats up the new villians of two 6 year old children
selling lemonade.......as killing lemons now is murder as the iceberg
now crashes into the Galapagos killing the giant tortoises.
Hour 10. Jack is put on trial. Tortured by Tedward Kennedy in making
Jack be questioned by a woman, flushing his Mao book down a toilet which
never happened and treating him like a king in prison.
Hour 11. Jack constructs a transporter device out of kleenex, 3 pieces
of lint and a paper clip and transports himself out of the court just as
the verdict is read. Guilty for tortoise murder.
Hour 12. Jack shoots Baboo as the world is not black and white, but
shades of Hillary Clinton colored hair grey and penguins are black and
white evil.
Hour 13. Audrey decides like Cheryl Crow that toilet paper must be
rationed and feminine materials must be recycled, without water as that
is now forbidden and without soap as that pollutes the water.
Hour 14. Jack holds el Presidente Gore hostage with information he found
in an egg Baboo laid revealing that Marc Rich was laundering money for
Saddam and certain funds ended up in certain president's Swiss Bank
accounts. Jack is pardoned.
Hour 15. Jack hijacks a sailing ship to go to Antarctica, but as canvas
is a product of farming which uses oil....and as Democrats gave all the
Middle East oil to terrorists........America has no oil........and no
canvas.......so his ship has no sails to go anywhere.
Hour 16. Jack arrives at a plan to lure Ken Shepperd from his Antarctica
fortress by sending him a letter telling him he has won the most coveted
prize in the world, The Keith Olberman Lunatic Award. Jack's plan
fizzles as paper is now outlawed as it murders trees.
Hour 17. Jack and Audrey are fitted for their carbon footprint shoes,
but no one can see them as no humans ever left a carbon footprint.
Hour 18. Ken Shepperd writes a column at Newsbusters exposing how
liberal policies are destroying the world. Jack is furious as he can not
figure out how Ken Shepperd found an electric cord 15,000 miles long to
reach Antarctica, so Jack beats up all the nuns in America as black
clothing absorbs heat and nuns are causing global warming.
Hour 19. Rush Limbaugh frees himself and goes on the radio telling the
world 24 sucks and Rupert Murdoch is only talking carbon friendly as he
knows it is all a joke to dupe liberals in their hipocrazy.
Hour 20. Jack demands a blog at Huffington Post, but no one reads it.
Hour 21. Fox announces with no audience ratings as only Conservatives
watched 24 the show is canceled.
Hour 22. Jack wakes up and realizes he is really Donald Sutherland's
little twirp liberal boy and has ushered his career into the toilet like
the olde man.
Hour 23. Keiffer Sutherland marches on a Ford plant demanding the end to
dangerous cars.
Hour 24. Mobs beat Keiffer to a pulp, demand Congress hold hearings on
how much money Al Gore siphoned off for global warming like all the
huckster globalists did.............and Fred Thompson is elected in a
landslide to the office of the President of the United States.
beep beep beep
