Paul Revere Twice Crapped Here
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Who knew that the one thing the intellectuals would get excited about in those White Founders of America,was their taking a crap in an outhouse.
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight rumblin's of Paul Revere
Was in an outhouse, about five by five
That Revere took a dump, just him and the wive...........
Paul Revere's Outhouse Believed To Be Found By Archaeologists...
Excitement Over Chance To Examine Historical Icon's Waste...
What got me wondering is, can they get Paul Revere DNA out of his stools? Not the kind he sat on, but the kind the relieved himself of.
Nothing could be finer, than to be digging through Paul Revere's shit. Everyone knows his infamous line about the Red Coats are Coming, but few know the line............
Oneth by land
Twoeth by pee..........
Yes that all changed in a number one and number two now, but apparently in ye olde New England, it was the dump was the important one coming first and the thing that you could do behind a bush, was less numerically superior.
I understand that people used to dump a great deal of things into their crappers, besides taking a dump. Broken pottery and other things. I don't think they ever found money, as it would drop out of a pocket, but people being poor would fish out a crown at all costs, and the ones who could afford it, had a darkie down there fishing for a pence.
“We love finding privies,” said Bagley. “We think we have one. The only way to find out is to dig down into it and see if it has that nightsoil–that kind of smelly, dark soils which are now composted and not that bad, but they might have a stench still, a little bit.”
To think there are people how wasted at least 7 year of their lives, now excited and digging through a White man's shit pile, and loving it.
In that, I think someone like Ivanka Kushner should be gift packaging her poo. Say like she could be like the Founders in George Washington slept here, it could be Ivanka Kushner poo'd here.
To make it really interesting Ivanka could make it like Cracker Jacks in putting a prize in her bagged up poo. Mind you not every bag, but maybe like 5 in 20. You know things that would be important in history, like her tampon, a donut the Secret Service refused to eat, a broken tiara, and maybe a strap on as those things wear out.
Ivanka could time capsule them, sell them on Ebay, hell she could open up a New York boutique as her last one closed. She could be the Paul Revere of 2230 AD in the year of our Lord, where a bunch of tan skins who replaced White America could be excited about digging through her chit. Probably by then the robots will be taking a knee in protest, saying how evil tan and black folks are in having enslaved their toaster and heating pad forecircuits.
So any way, let us all celebrate in really smart people who hate Donald Trump, are thrilled to be digging through Paul Revere's turds. This is something we can all unite behind, as none of us are thrilled about this and we would rather have a plumber dig through our shit.
In the meantime.........
Puerto Rico Desperate...
'Literally Destroyed'...
Water, Food Scarce...
San Juan Airport 'Like End of World'...
Half of Americans Don't Know Puerto Ricans Are Fellow Citizens...
To bad you goddamn Mexican speaking looters as I don't speak Spanish, so you probably should have learned to speak American, and then we would know you what you were calling help for.
Not so smart now are you smug bastards eating your own shit.
Nuff Said
agtG
