Large Hip Alert
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Something has come to the Lame Cherry's attention and it is, well a matter of concern for all of us, as one of our employees has taken to feeding quite large at the political hog trough, and in just a few months of sitting behind a West Wing desk and having everyone wait upon her, Ivanka Kushner has gained a Michelle Obama two zip code size ass.
Warning Wide Load
This is of further concern as helicopters can not carry an infinite payload. When one begins packing the weight that Jael Ivanka Kushner is, that in heavy weather the helicopter engines might not be able to compensate, and what if Ivanka lurches for a fourth cream brownie and the pilots find Marine One flying on it's side as the weight shift of Ivanka is just too much for one helicopter to deal with.
I realize that Ivanka has gone to great lengths as of late to distract attention from her plumpiness, but in that there is not a large enough nipple ever to display a load of thighs that one would hear the call, "Timber!!!", from brawny men lumberjacks, felling trees in Paul Bunyon Minnesota.
The Weighty Nipple
The truth is, is that the White House is not for some women. Some women just are not up to the office. Take Hillary Clinton who entered young and attractive, and left a big butted harpie. Michelle Obama entered a fat ugly woman, and ........well that is a bad example as she left fatter and uglier.
Some women though take to the White House. Take for example Jew Gary Cohn's hip rubber in Dina Powell, who just gets more svelte and sexy with each day working for Herbert McMaster.
The thin Dina Powell
And can any deny this lovely trio is even more attractive in power, in serving President Trump? Kellyanne Conway is more alluring, Hope Hicks is more fashion model and Omarosa is the definition of Woman Power.
White House Power Women in self control and weight control
One can understand this, as one day Ivanka is sending the daughter out for donuts and then the next she is sucking on pounds of pasta, to the extent that she is hoovering them out of the toddler's mouths.
Ivanka and the Pasta Pounds
The seriousness of this is Ivanka has gained what appears to four sizes in four months. At this rate, she will be a size 20 by 2018, a size 32 by 2019, and seriously, the park service will have to disassemble the White House for Ivanka to leave and honestly they will have to reinforce the floors to move her, as the White House is built for nuclear attack, but not this kind of Abams tank weight moving down the halls.
Perhaps this is some Ivanka Brand plan for profit where she eats off the plentiful morsels of the White House, puts on like 500 pounds, and then launches Ivanka Brand, Ivanka Watchers, to feed the Ivanka diet of caviar, bottled water and celery in Bloody Mary's, to the uber rich like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama, in a most exclusive weight reduction program.
If this though is just Ivanka gluttony, then there must be an intervention, perhaps by those who love her like.....no Ivanka did not go to Tiffany's birthday party. Well there is Melania and Dad......no Ivanka tried to break up their marriage. Of course there is........no Jared set him up with Robert Mueller to save Jared's ass. Maybe it ......no they are busy with their new baby.
Maybe this will fall to Junta Kelly, where he will just have to tell Ivanka, 'No more seven helpings of coconut cream pie and stop drinking coffee and creamer without the coffee in gallon jugs."
Let us just hope this is all an Ivanka Brand to use the Presidency in Ivanka Watchers, and not a matter of gluttony in Ivanka not being able to handle the White House, but has a handle on the free food.
Nuff Said
agtG
