As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I detest people who lilke being waited on. The reason being is I watched the mother wait on my dad, hand and foot. He was the kind of person who expected it, and liked being waited on, and never appreciated it, as he always expected more.
The mother, was another interesting gem, in having waited on dad, she went from noting all I had done, to expecting it, and then sitting back and noting that she deserved it, in TL and I were there for the purpose, and she was completely ungrateful at the end.
In many ways, leaders are like this amplified. They expect to be served. They find fault in what people do and it is never good enough for them.
My Grampa's were men who never allowed themselves to be waited on. My beloved Uncle was a man who was waited on and he alawys appreciated it in dying. He did not have to be thanking anyone constantly. He just was grateful.
The Uncle is such a product too, for all the people who say he is difficult and ornery, which he is. By God's Grace though with TL and I, he has been accomodating, says thank you often enough, and demands things to be done, but you never feel like he expects it or that what you do is not good enough. It is a matter of character in a person.
He knows TL and I try and that is good enough. He knows we are not making demands upon him or tyring to get him to do things our way.
I laughed recently, as all the talk of him going into a geezer home, and a few of his children plotting for it here, so they would not have to deal with him there, we were talking battery powered equipment, and with that he got up and showed me an ad in a magazine for a battery powered chainsaw. He announced he was going to get one when he went back. This is not a man who is going into a geezer home, but a man planning for the future.
He had just given away his gas powered chainsaw to his youngest son, as you never know what is up with his thinking. But, the other day, he was talking about chainsaws again, and said, "Well for the trimming we have to do around here, one of them out of Harbor Freight would do".
I grinned at that, as I deemed the colletctive "we" was him and I, with his telling me what he wanted done and me doing the trimming.
This summer has regained his independence, and restored a buffer of interaction with his family.TL and I have been blessed by God to be the period of healing they required in things got done, people were able to show who they were in caring, and he was able to be a complete man again, as he told his daugther that he was not getting around pretty good.
He mentioned to us his concerns about he trip back, which I passed the message discreetly to his daughter about. I believe he knows I help stand up for his interests, and when he speaks with her, they will get it worked out for them in travel. It gets too complicated at times, and I need God all the time to interpret, but being trusted to advocate for someone, is a huge compliment.
A great deal of this has not been easy, as the healing period, he was a bear, because others were still hurting him. Once he understood we were only doing what he wanted, would work the best we could and always follow his instructions, then he was fine with us. It is a point though that never in this, was it ever a point that he has left the impression that we are niggers or that he expects to be waited on. For a man in his condition, he actually is quite determeined to wait on hoimself all the time.
I thinik about this a often enough, as his children have hurts with him, and I probably could not have done this with my dad, even if I did it with the mother, to my regret and our great emotional harm. I could do it, but he would have been informed what an unappreciative ass he was and there was no joy in him. He was though a person that if I was out from under his thumb, and would tell him some pornagraphic way what he could do with himself, and then shut him down when he tried to use religion, that we probably would have gotten along fine. He was just someone who liked being waited on and never appreciated it.
That is one reason TL and I doing what we have done, is completely Chrsitian, as both our parents were the same mould. They expected to be served and they liked it far too much.
I was telling TL though this past week, that what I try to focus on is, "Serve on earth and be served in Heaven". I do a great deal of good in doing things for people on earth, like this blog, to numerous selfish people, knowing when the time comes, Christ will provide us our rest, and others will be serving for eternity.
I honestly believe that it is God in a person who is the Character which keeps people sound. I will not let myself be waited on, as I detested that in others. I willingly serve TL and TL myself, as it is out of love and neithr of us expect it or make the other feel unappreciated. When given power as we have with Uncle, we have not taken any advantage. It is not our will being accomplished, but the Will of God, and what Uncle wants done.
That I have witnessed is impossible for most people. The weakest often become the most powerful, as they like the power too much. For all God has changed the world through TL and myself, we have been busy being servants to an old man, who his family had written off, in giving him life again. He had a great deal of character and most of it is good. He is a man if you show him respect, he will reciprocate and elevate you in the process.
I thinik of my Auntie in atory she told me, of she was asked by a friend to be an executor in a will. She did it according to the will, and when the children tried to get her to do it different, she informed them it was going to be done exactly as it was written.
For the mother, I had that position. I followed the will to the letter, but I did not follow her orders, because she idd not want her daughters at the funeral, but legally I had to inform them. So I ate crow and those backstabbers were busy tearing down my character for a year. I did it though, because I was not going to give those detested people any sympathy from others in how mean she was or the charge they keep trying to rely on, in how controlling I was.
The one ignores me like death now, so I know the message is certain to leave me in peace. They still pull stuff, still try and undermine us with the Uncle, but it has zero effect, because our service has become a debt of gratitude in people who do not expect to be waited on, and appreciate what God has done through TL and myself.
Yes it is hard dealing with people as not everyone has character. That is what the brother in law and sister do not have. They offer to do things, easy things, or take credit for others work, or they spy on people and then give bad feedback. In this though, the people are not lsitening as they see what we are doing and that is what is the thing which counts, because the line in the sand is, we do the hard jobs, and they will never do them and their selfishness and their entitlement keeps wearing on other people.
The need to be waited on stems from a a lack of validation, feeling loved and not being sure of yourself so you need others lower than you. The way I deal with things is to not ever be in a position to have to rely on others or ask for help, even if I need it. I build my bridge to Christ in Heaven, and look to the time for when I will be served. Yes I will serve God and whatever else He dictates, but when it comes down to it, I am doing the sweating now, as it is intelligent to put my equity in Heaven where I will not have to sweat for others ever again.
Once again, another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
Nuff Said
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