As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I loathe with contempt swindlers, finaglers and ass kissers.
Look them up in the dictionary and my brother in law's picture is there with an exclamation point.
There is a sweet spot in this group though as they always think they are smarter than other people that shit always comes home to roost.
This is one of those stories.
So the finagler worked with people in the industry, and one nitwit in the group had a pile of huge, beautiful, eating apples. Finagler immediately started the con as he wanted those apples free. The way to get them was to tell the dim wit, Hey you like apple pie? My wife will bake you one for a bag of apples".
That on the front of it sounded the epic steal really. A few apples you order my con artist sister to peal and bake, and you get 30 bucks worth of apples. And I will clue you in, this asshole earned a good salary, so it was not like the asshole could not afford it. The thing is he was so Goddamn tight you would have thought he was a Jew. For holidays, he would buy the shitiest meat and foods. That is what I never understood as he had to eat that shit too. I could understand when he invited us over in the laws how he would buy the shitiest hamburger or trot out the old brats because they tasted like shit, as that was his kind of generous, but he always was running the grill, so ...........yes his grilled meat was the good stuff and everyone else ate the shit.
That is why when the promise of the pie went out, the finagler thought he had fucked another guy over and was just waiting for his pile of eating apples. Funny thing happened on the way to the pie though, as we have the children and grandchildren of immigrants, who are Germanics. These are the kind of people who ate even the squeal on a pig. If food spoiled it was a sin, and you ate it anyway. So the dim wit was bred for that group as it would be a sin to sentence you to hell if you used an eating apple in a pie. Sodom tipped the scales for adulterating peaches over such things and God does not forget.
So the finagler is at work, and the dim wit shows up with the apples. A huge bag alright of windfalls, with bird pecks, deer bites, squirrel chomps and whatever else. The kind of apples my Gram used to say to us, "Dats goot enuf for you". Gram never did eat good apples, no one did, they fell on the ground anyway and rotted to worm breeding heaven, but we could not get good apples. She was tight like a Jew too, but has the same sense as my asshole brother in law, in thinking no one knew what they were pulling.
So there sat the apples, all rotting, bruised and nothing worth eating as the eating apples were from the eating apple tree. The apples when home, the sister pealed and backed them for pies and that was the end of trying to steal apples from the dim wit at work.
As I said, it is sweet when these con artists get their just deserts. I thank God for that beginning to balance the scales. As I said 30 dollars would have purchased a box of huge, perfect eating apples, but he was too fucking tight to buy anything good.
I no longer have anything to do with those people, but my last memory was of him and my sister in the restaurant eating the special of the day, some faux Mexican taco bake thing. I mean it was SHIT. They saved though 30 cents, yes 30 cents as that is what it cost me more to order something I wanted.
Life is so much nicer without asshole relatives in my life. Nice that TL's asshole relatives sit in their metro gulags too enjoying their luxury by plotting to see who cons the other to do what. Monkeys have better civility than all of these people.
agtG
