Monday, November 15, 2021

Being There


 


As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.


As I write this blog, the best way I have found is to expose parts of my life, so that other will learn from the realities of life in the impossible situations every one of us face eventually. Often as I have published letters here, I get ranting condemnations as people use personal information and twist it to stick the dagger in as they sense weakness. The pain they inflict is nothing compared to the few people who are helped.


My brother is dying as I type this.


While I have not had the opportunity to assess what is killing him, from the symptoms he has had, in doing a search online, they are all connected to one thing and that is the Covid vaccine.

Yes I have railed about this here and warned, but things happen in life and decisions are made. This though is not about the vax, this is about the decisions that those who are left are forced upon them, as someone has to make them.

His daughter has in my heart always been my little girl. She is still a child as his her little brother, but they are the ones who are having to make the adult decisions. As I just did this for the last time when the mother died almost 3 years ago on Black Friday and all the questions that go with that, my job this past week has been to assure my little girl that the decisions she and her brother have made are the correct ones.

I was talking to my older cousin the other night and she said, "It was hard as we basically put my mother down. She was awake when we did it, but there was nothing else that could be done as the suffering was too much for her as she was dying".

I have written of this exclusive club of those who have face the realities of life with family and friends in being the one trusted to make the decisions. It forever carves a chasm in your Spirit and it forever changes you. You are never the same once you are forced in compassion to make the decisions God does.

As near as the medical staff with all of their magnetic resonance devices costing thousands of dollars, my brother suffered 2 strokes, a minor heartattack and on the day he collapsed after walking around the ward for the first time, he had a major stroke. The CAT scan found not any brain bleeding, but the minor cancer he had, had spread like wildfire. He has a hole in his lung that fluids had to be drained from, fluid in his throat and there is absolutely no hope he will recover from that. He stopped being the person he was when that last stroke hit him and has been unresponsive since.

In strokes, his brain should have swelled and he should have died, but not with this stroke. That is why I believe this is the vax. Remember no one can sue over this as it is blanket carte blanche for the synthetic prions they are pumping into people.........and yes my brother for some reason got the lethal stuff and not a saline injection.

He had gone for his checkup and all seemed well. Returned to work and started feeling bad. He decided to take some time off and when he got home he was found unresponsive. That got him into the emergency ward and 8 days of that and he is now in the last days of his life.

It was particularly hard in this as the geese have been flying a great deal here. He loved hunting geese and they are a constant reminder of just like when my Beloved Uncle passed in what seemed like yesterday.

The roll I did not ask for, but the one I took up as no one else would in my remaining two siblings who would cause more Goddamn trouble in second guessing things or wanting things which would be best or them is to support what the kids decide. He is my brother, but his lot in life is his children. If he wanted it different, than he should have put it into writing. There is not any way I wanted any part of this again as last time was my last time with the mother, but my job as a Christian is make sure those kids are the least traumatized they can be in this, so they second guess nothing and leave this behind when it is done. I have enough ghosts in my heart that being wounded some more is not going to be anything unfamiliar. It gives purpose though in being there for them in making something good come out of an impossible situation.

It would be inhumane to carve on my brother in trying to fix the unfixable. He is in a deep sleep, all meds have been removed. He is in no pain and if he was morphine would begin. He has a fever from an infection, probably his lungs, which is 104 degrees and after a day of a fast heartbeat and deep breathing on meds, he is slowly coming to shallow breaths as his body is beginning the shut down process.

I remember the Buffalo Hunter Billy Dixon once saying that death was not cruel. When death came, it wrapped it's warm arms around a dying person and they comfortably passed over. My brother is entering that phase and my prayers are that God does this as quickly as possible. I only waited with that prayer as I wanted the children to be able to have closure and that is what took place this afternoon.

My niece is a wonderful empath. She has the gift that I have, that the mother had, that grandmother had. We talk to animals and they know. We see things, we know things by God. She told her Dad that they would be ok. That his organs would start shutting down and he should not struggle. He should just pass over. I had told her in a message that I prayed God would send Beloved Uncle as part of the welcoming group. She was pleased and said that her Dad would like that. So we have a connection in this from God's Spirit in directing our ways in the most impossible of situations.

As you will be reading this, I have spent a night in prayer again for a Godspeed in the Lord Wills being accomplished. This is what life is at the core. Everyone is born and everyone till Christ's return is going to die. Hard decisions that change people are in that dying part, but that is what the adult thing is in someone has to be the one to do it. I had this thrust upon me twice because my siblings and that includes my brother were afraid or in my sister's case just bad people who did not want to get stuck doing things or it costing them money. There is something in this that everyone can love someone who is wonderful like my Uncle. The mother was a trial every day and my brother and I did not get along these past years, but God blessed, you get on your hind legs and do what is right when the time comes, because if you see a need and do not do what needs to be done, that is a sin. As an empath I get torn apart inside in all of this emotions, but I know if I did not do the adult thing, I would carry that and answer to God for it every day. So you get off your ass and support people, guide people and be there as my brother can't walk away from dying. His children are stuck with hard decisions and waiting it out. That is nothing in the hurts I have now as I can separate out and supporting hard decisions is easier for a moral person of character than making them. The last damn thing anyone ever should do is question decisions already done. They are done and you lie if you have to in supporting them as those people are going to have a hard enough time in dealing with all of this shit that everyone who is responsible has to deal with.

I'm thinking about all of my dead that I was there for. It was too much and it probably has just started. I must have a St. John Gift for this stuff, when I would have rather played music by ear. If you are there for people though when they need it, it is the event of your lives in God working through you to help someone through something that could destroy them.

I really hope that God performs another miracle as it is time.



Nuff Said


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