I'm not dead. Why does everyone think I'm a crook
or that I'm dead?
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
In a tragic turn of events, after Mitch McConnell helped engineer a Democatic takeover of the United States Senate by sabotaging Republicans, The Shallot reports the Senator took a nasty fall, where his brain was smashed to the floor and he is now Resting in Peace.
Thee events were told by the Senators who were with the Minority Leader.
South Dakota Sen. John Thune, the No. 2 Republican, told reporters on Thursday that he had not spoken to McConnell. Stating, "I thought he was dead".
Thune was at the dinner on Wednesday night and said McConnell delivered remarks “as usual” but that he did not see the fall. Thune added, "I was out back with the Ukrainian sex children that had been flown in, and was naked, getting a rub down, when I heard the sirens. I bolted for the alley and didn't stop running until I hit Pennsylvania Avenue".
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, Senator Mike Crapo made this statement.
"McConnell is alive? I thought he died years ago. Wait am I taking orders for Democrat Chuck Schumer for real then?"
Roy boy toy Blunt had a different perspective.
"I just assumed Thune had put a hit out on McConnell, as I had seen him spilling slick substance on the floor around McConnell all night. It makes no difference to me who is in charge as I get the same money and follow the same orders.
There is apparently a great deal of money invested in the McConnell stable by a few donors and explains why the GOPliters in the Senater were so keen in this funding of the Ukraine genocide as the leader is Ashkenaz funded for Ashkenaz Zellinskyy, Blackstone which was given financial control over Ukraine and it would seem that shipping all that stuff in and out of Ukraine would be lucrative.
The group’s two top donors in 2020 are Las Vegas casino owner Sheldon Adelson and his wife, Miriam, who combined have contributed $50 million. Other large donors include Stephen A. Schwarzman, CEO of the investment firm Blackstone, and Timothy Mellon, chairman of transportation company Pan Am Systems. Schwarzman and Mellon each donated $20 million.
The Iowa Pig Castrator Joni Ernst was cornered for a comment and had this to add.
"McConnell who? I'm not into Nazi kids ok. At these events I am back at the animals sex exhibits. I was mud wrastlin' some hogs, fresh from Iowa. You could smell the Mexican still on them. That's the real turn on for me.
Lastly, Elaine Cho, wife of Senator McConnell was found for comment on her front lawn burning a huge pile of papers from the Chinese PLA. It was thought they had something to do with larges sums of money the McConnell's has benefited from like Hunter Biden.
Ms. Cho said this.
" I speakee no English".
No one really knows who is in charge of the GOPliters as Donald the deserter Trump works for the DIA, and the above Congressgenders are oligarch owned. The dining room and the hospital though would like to know as payments are due for some of the extras that Mitch McConnell had ordered 'grape jelly body lick" at the dining room and a staff of Chinese nurses who are Peking specialist transgenders.
agtG
