Lame Cherry: Some Advice for the English at Heart

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Dear LC, thanks for blog updates always interesting, well anyway not much to report here.

It is always troubling when the English have nothing to report as it simply reflects poorly on King Charles. New royals like to make their mark. Like Queen Liz I, she set out pirates and tried to start a world war with the Spanish. I don't know much more than the movies in like Edward Longshanks threw homosexuals out of castle windows and Henry III copulated with sheep and French women.

Always looking to help out, I have a few suggestions to liven things up.

An Englishmen could .......no that wouldn't do as no one would want Harry Hewitt as king.

They could.........no MI5 would have to arrest everyone in England as they would love Vladimir Putin as their leader.

They could buy a gun.......no that is illegal in England.

Let's look at English history for something interesting.

Here is one, Joan of Larke.

She was the mistress of Thomas Wolsey, a Cardinal. Must have been really good on her knees to turn a Cardinal from molesting little boys to going to hell for adultery.

Then there was Thomas Goodwin. He was chaplain to one of the pro Englishmen that loved Americans, in Oliver Cromwell. You got to be quite a preacher to be Cromwell's confessor as Cromwell knocked off the king, made England a Republic and got rid of them Goddamn Catholics.

See, he looks bad ass, a real man of Puritan thought.

It seems to help the English that they should change their name to Thomas. I have known allot of Tom's and only one was worth a shit. The rest like my brother in law should have all been run through a wood chipper. He is a Swede and Goddamn if you want a repulsive people, you just have a Swede around. They are always whining about some shit like pedophiles are people too or some other odd thing that lynching used to take care of.
Lynching in the way I studied it, was good for commerce. It employed farmers who raised hemp, the kind for rope and not doping you up. It employed .........let's not get into that all as suffice it to say that no one wanted to have a rope around that was around someone's neck after the neck rotted off.

You know that used to be the penalty for evil people. They hung them by the neck, not until dead, but until the body rotted from the neck. Then they hung the people who whined about this being brutal. Is the problem in why MI6 and the King are starting a world war in Ukraine, as you just can't make money anymore off of rope. Rope used to be the oil of the world. Everyone used rope. Not any more though. You just can't get good rope out of China.

Then there was Rebecca Nurse and Mary Eastey. They were nice women in England, but they came to the Massachusetts colony and got hung. See that rope thing. They turned into witches in America. That came from eating rye bread,as there is that ergot thing, that is like LSD, made them English women crazy.

Here is Rebecca and Mary before they got caught getting high on ergot.

They said Rebecca was exonerated 20 years later, but I don't think she came back to life with that exoneration.

There was Oliver Fellow Tomkins, he went to be a missionary to cannibals. They in turn ate him. I do not recommend that as there does not seem to be much of a future in that as coming out as poop of a wog's anus sort of loses your identity. I mean Stalin or Mao got embalmed as there is something to look at. You just do not want to put varnish on poop and put it out on display for people to look at.

If Tomkins had had National Geographic like Harry Hewitt, he would be alive today as he would have just masturbated like Harry in the missionary position.