You must choose Gilligan, is it Mario Lanza or Kenny G?
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
There is a most distressing conundrum which has reached the desk of the Lame Cherry, and we have invested hours researching this and weeks debating this, as there is a schism being created in this world in who was the greatest singer in the world, Kenny G or Mario Lanza.
This is Kenny G
This is Mario Lanza.
While it is true that Kenny G has never sang a song, it is also true that Kenny G should not be penalized for singing with his clarinet, any more than Mario Lanza should be penalized for having never played with his musical organ as an artist.
Kenny G is just fabulous. He has with his clarinet caused more pregnancies in urban women being seduced to his woodwind and even more abortions in regret as women were mesmerized in a sort of zombie vagina reaction to the notes of Kenny G.
Surely causing so many pregnancies and abortions is something that Mario Lanza can not equal.
Yet we have to take into account that Mario Lanza is Jeff Rense's favorite artist and all of us look forward to the to brief times that he features the great impresario in his wonderful renditions with his masterful voice.
I for one simply have my favorite musical of all time, The Student Prince, starring the voice of Mario Lanza. I simply was swept away by Drink, drink, let your hearts soar, May all voices implore, Drink, drink, let every true loving heart, salute...........Good night...........
Oh such a wonderful performance and all without a clarinet of any kind. Mario Lanza was simply wonderful and he died so young, at 38 years. What could he have accomplished if he had lived? Perhaps he would have played the clarinet or the saxophone like dual performer Kenny G, which is another high mark in Kenny G, as Mario Lanza never attempted to sing another octave like Soprano as his voice boomed out in perfection in his normal key.
To Mr. Lanza's credit, he was loved by the Nazis. Here is a story of a British booking agent, was a Nazi and he hated Jews, and Mr. Lanza fell under this Nazi spell as other artists did. Can any of us condemn Pavarotti or Bob Dylan for being loved by Nazi's either for their great talent? Nay I say, as being loved by Nazis perhaps saved the Jews from extermination, as Mario Lanza and others mellowed the SS to a calm.
Coast was on MI5’s watch list as a potential Nazi collaborator on the fringe of one of Britain’s most notorious spy rings.
Using his connections, singers as diverse as Mario Lanza, Pavarotti, Bob Dylan and Mary O’Hara – the Singing Nun – fell under control of his concert promotions company. Even Sir David Attenborough enlisted Coast to help produce a series of BBC documentaries on Balinese culture.
But it is unlikely they would have wanted much to do with him if they had any inkling of the depth of his anti-Semitic fanaticism. His infatuation with British pro-Nazi organisations fill dozens of MI5 files which have now been declassified.
Unfortunately, Kenny G was not tooting his horn when the Nazis were administering social order. So we have no idea what effect Kenny G had on Nazi's or any political group. Kenny G though is a Jew, a bastard Jew as his mum was a Saskatchewanian and no records of his father, although he was bastardized in Washington State.
Mario was only married four years before he died and fathered 4 children. Kenny G only managed to father two in many more years of trying. For that kind of musical ejaculation, of course Mario Lanza wins the nod as the greater artist.
Should Kenny G be penalized though in being a Jew in the Nazi's did not love him? I think not as Ken could not help his circumstances. No records are available in circumcision would tip the scales in Kenny's or Mario's on the skin flute.
Kenny G though did sell cars. Mario did not. Being a musical car salesman is a most important virtue as cars have CD players and radios and adding music to the world is a plus.
Mario Lanza was fired for being fat. That though was a time of cruel prejudices. Kenny G has never been fired for being bald. Kenny G though has had his own problems with overdubbing his work on other artists. Mario never did this, and on his death, Frank Sinatra sent a telegram saying how sorry he was at the loss.
It comes down to it, can a telegram from Frank Sinatra tip the scales against Kenny G? Jews are said to be the apple of God's Eye, but if anyone can equal God it is Frank Sinatra. God never sang New York New York or had jungle sex with that Ava Gardner, in a sort of black voyeurism in White Hunters as everyone listened in to Frank and Ava going at it.
Mario Lanza did portray a Black man though in Otello. Kenny G apparently only portrays a Jew and he does have his own line of saxophones. Mario Lanza never launched his own line of record players.
I think with all being weighed that is comes down to Frank Sinatra sending a personal telegram. Even though Kenny G plays golf, and takes naked tit pix, it has to come down to Frank Sinatra's telegram in who was the greatest singer.
But it is one thing to show off your tits, it is another thing if there is evidence that Frank Sinatra messaged you about those tits to make this a runaway.
None of that Frank Sinatra evidence exists to make Kenny G the clear winner. But when it comes down to it in who was the better singer impresario, although Mario Lanza was loved by Nazis and Frank Sinatra and yes Kenny G is a Jew who has never played a Black skin flute player, although he did dub over Black impresario Louis Armstrong, is not a Jew erasing a Black just as accomplished as Nazi's erasing some Jews and then loving Mario Lanza?
I say it is, and although my heart says the winner has to be Mario Lanza, my head tells me the facts that Kenny G is the greater singer due to his clarinet.
I know the Lame Cherry must weigh in on this, as this paradigm is causing a schism in the world like who was the woman you most wanted to sleep with, Ginger or Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island. I always thought it was rather prejudiced that Lovey was not included as the way she wore those tight pants, just made you know that Thruston never had to go looking elsewhere have the wild monkey sex.
The thing is though that young boys wanted to have sex with Mary Ann, but when they grew up, they wanted to make Ginger drain them of body fluids. It is all a perspective of horizon points as others vanish from a different time. Mario Lanza would win in 1950 because Kenny G never starred in the Student Prince and Mario Lanza would lose in the 21st century because Kenny G is alive now.
You get them when they are Mario Lanza, but I get them when they are Kenny G.
So let us all agree that Kenny G is the greater singer. It does not mean that we have to use our Mario Lanza records as target practice or call him a number 2, as we can still listen to Mario and enjoy him, but always think, "That Kenny G is simply the better singer".
This should settle the issue now as the Lame Cherry has been proven correct on Joaquin Phoenix is the greatest actor ever, and that Jan Michael Vincent is the greatest television star in the world ever. Yes we all want to make Ginger squeal now and of course that concludes that Kenny G is the greater singer in the debate over Mario Lanza.
If only Mario Lanza had sung Play that Funky Music White Boy and Rock n Roll Hootchie Coo. If only. that and with Frank Sinatra, he might have edge out Kenny G. But Mario never left the music which was holding him back and plunged into his real stardom as Rock Star.
This is another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
agtG
agtG
