Lame Cherry: That is not how they said it was online.

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

The worst thing I like about dread is, it is not what you dread, but what you never expected that is the worst dread.
- Lame Cherry

So the saga of Two Chiefs continues.

So I got the starter off and it is hanging there. Somehow today I found a way to tuck it out of the way on the frame or something, as today's adventure were soft plug removal.

So just like the starter removal was not the way the always experts said it was online, I soon was making discoveries of what uber fun removing rusted steel soft plugs are from an engine.

For those who are in need of an education, which does not include non donors as they know it all, after they read it here, soft plugs are cast into an engine block, so the sand will come out after casting. They tell you that these holes in the block are for when the anti freeze freezes so it does not crack the block, but that is like the tale of every Catholic is going to Heaven.

On Two Chiefs I had ............6 in the 360 CID Ford engine on the bottom which are the large size. One was out.........I put a tank heater into that one. I studied things and found that antifreeze was running out of two more. So I studied for weeks more in trying to figure out what the shit was going on with this as we all have seen the television shows that things looks so easy, in the faggot get hired to do the work and the stars appear and play with a wrench and all works out in between cuts of the video with editing.

For me, I don't have any queers doing the hard jobs. It is just me, so I have to study for new experiences and in all the studying, I found out these realities.

To remove soft plugs, you just use a punch and hammer to fold over one edge and then you pull it out with a Vice Grip.

Which part of that do you need to be told does not work?

To save your brain.........none of that worked on Two Chiefs.

The first plug I tried was the front passenger side. No it was the back passenger side as I soon discovered that there was not any way to get anything to hammer in that tight space and more to the point, I did not want to be knocking that metal disk into the engine block to try and recover.

So the front one, got a looksee when the Holy Ghost said to me, 'Why not get the battery drill and drill a hole in that disk and then put in a punch and pry that thing out.

So off I went to find the evil uncle's drill.......it was gone. OK so to find my lightweight Skill. Got a bit in and under the pick up I went again to crawl around. I really hate auto mechanics, crawling around under a vehicle and the shit that keeps falling on me under a vehicle.

So to drill. Great news the block is at an angle so the drill would not drill where I wanted. I finally got it jammed literally into a corner, due to the fact it was rusted through. Got the hole in, put the punch in.........pried on it......and nothing.

More frowns.

So the next Holy Ghost advice was to use the punch and gently hammer that bastard........the Holy Ghost does not use foul language...to see if I could get it broke loose. This plug was already seated in too deep by someone. Who knows what fuck ups were at Ford in 1969 AD in the year of our Lord in Michigan.

I got it to move a bit, so start prying and it budged back out to where it was, did some more slow work an somehow that thing came out, in one piece.

Wow feeling confident now I was.

So to the rear one. This one was rusted quite bad, so bad that I did not need to drill. I just shoved the punch through, did some more prying and trying to knock it loose and it too now came out as a sort of ring thing.

This seemed over now, as I had the two hard ones out. Then came the education.

So I'm tapping on this soft plug with the punch, seeing if I can get it loose as this one is way out of the block. I tap it, the punch goes in and sploosh goes a shit bath of dirty shit with antifreeze. Wonderfully I was the sponge that was ready in having that ooze soaked into me.

I decided it was time to vacate Dodge, so crawled back out military style and looked at the mess I was, took the old jacket off, as who can afford new with non donors, and as a good stream of antifreeze was coming out of an engine I thought was empty, I got a jug, put it under there, it started to fill, and I propped it up with the flashlight, had to go back and use the drill as I had a half gallon of antifreeze and was done pouring that on the ground at 10 bucks a gallon.

So I'm looking at that thing and the mess, and I tell TL, "Let's go do what we need to do at Grandpa's, got to town to get some Permatex seal as they were out, and some silly girl got excited about guns the day before and forgot why I was in the farm store in the first place".

So we went, as TL had phoned and they had one tube left........had no tubes the past month after having several tubes, but apparently that stuff is used on lots of car projects and lots of people are working on cars...........who unlike me, like working on cars.

So home we come. I have 3/4's of a gallon of anti freeze, cap that up after I find the cap, as that is like a gallon of antifreeze at 10 bucks a gallon which is expensive with non donors not donating.

So I crawl back under Two Chiefs. I wiggle around as I forgot how I was lined up to see that soft plug, and finally figure out I came in the front bumper way. I get there, have my ball pien, two punches, one chisel, one big screwdriver and the drill this time is my pillow as I got a nerve problem from being a kid and getting things ripped out, so hurts my neck in certain positions.
I get to wanting to drill.......no need as this plug is in worse shape than a Holywood harolots pussy after a lifetime of service. It just falls apart.

I do try and get the Vice Grip on it.........oh yes in #2, I got the Vice Grip jaw inside the one hole and I started prying that way, and it did come out that way. As you can see, none of what I did matched what the always experts were saying worked. I don't have a shop. My engine is not out on a cherry picker, and there is no room under an engine for this fun.

So I'm working away, making no headway, unless making thing worse. I can't hammer the thing as I tried. Nothing I have is working to pry it out. I keep trying and not cussing or losing my temper, just putting in my time in Two Chief Prison.

I finally think if I had a little pry bar like they have for nails, that might go in there and work at that angle. I crawl out.......no pry bar to be found. I find a big Allen Wrench at a 90 degree and think.......try that.

I also go fetch a big file as I figure I might have to file a notch in this plug and hope I don't file the block so I get a permanent leak.

So the Allen Wrench goes in......not the right angle and that is not going to work. So I try filing with the file........that really is not looking promising. So we graduate to using tools that you are not supposed to use that way, so I take the pointy end of the file and I start prying with that. Files are hard steel and snap, but what else am I going to do, as I'm not laying under this pick up doing nothing, as I got enough dirt and shit falling on me.

I sweat to God those Indians have a knack for coating a vehicle's underside with dirt and whatever a quarter inch thick.I have never seen an American's vehicle look anything like this.

God is good to me and as I kept working on it, I got the tip of the file on the non existent edge one time, and as I told TL who was there, "You want a King Kongetter sized wedding ring?"

Yes it popped off.

I really, except for God, do not know how any of this worked. I just know the experts shit advice was shit advice and would never work.

I got a bucket of water then, and dumped it into the radiator as there is more grit and whatever in those soft plug holes than I could fathom how it got there. I was contemplating if some Goddamn Indian had put sand in the radiator. Just was 1970 onward Brier Patch contamination I guess.

Green antifreeze came out and it seemed about all I could do, so I declared victory and do not look forward to part installation of these soft plugs which involves more non internet advice as I wonder what will come of all of this with no room to do anything.

I decided to leave the driver side plug that is under the engine mount alone. It was not leaking, and I did not relish trying to get that out. I will put in two gallons of water to test if everything is water tight, and if that is the case, then the anti freeze goes back in and I get to start on the fuel part of this project to make this Silly Pony pick up come back to life, as it has been sleeping since the Little Big Horn and someone appears to not want him to wake up, as this is ridiculous in the crap I had happening today.

Oh one more thing, you stupid bastards. If your soft plugs go out, put in BRASS plugs as that would have saved me all of this. Why in the hell anyone would put in steel plugs to rust out is beyond me, but rust they did. Some jack ass put in a screw in brass plug........that is fine by me as it is still working and probably will past Jesus coming back, but steel rusts and brass is not that much more and it saves you or whoever gets your shit a world of problems. It was just rez stupid as all of the abuse this pick up has gone through.

Yes I can use this 5/8ths inch open end wrench to complete the project
of pulling out the dipstick, or I might just use it to tighten this hose clamp
by tapping on it.