Lame Cherry: Kristi Noem Brings Out the Big Guns to be Trumps Vice President

Bagged me 42 wetbacks at sun up. Grill me a steak, crack me a beer,
I'm breaking out the bazooka at 10.
South Dakota Commander in Chief
Governor Kristi Noem

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

In a grandstand show South Dakota Governor, Kristi Noem arrived in Texas today, to secure the border and place herself at the top of the list of candidates which Donald Trump is considering for his Vice President.

Noem was up before dawn, with her "dogs of war" as she deployed in the cane breaks of the Rio Grande to hunt down "wetbacks" and anything else that was crossing the border illegally.

Noem was asked about this show of force if the Gimp Governor of Texas, Greg Abbott had approved it or not, Noem responded, "The Gimp is in India giving away American jobs, I'm here now to protect Texas and will run the show."

Asked if she really thought she could handle Texans Noem replied,"I'm Commander in Chief of South Dakota. I watched Dallas, so I know what makes Texans tick".

After the bloodfest in the cane breaks, Noem deployed part of the South Dakota Navy on the river in her personal gunboat, Big River, equipped with a 105 rifled bore barrel cannon.

She patrolled the river until a lunch break and then fired a dozen rounds off into Mexico, just in case something was out there.

We are the coyote state Captain, we know how to kill them. Just point and pull the trigger.

Noem stated she was done with being one of the Trump Pack and was breaking out in a show of leadership. She said she was ready to accept Trump's offer as Vice President in a heartbeat as a Governor she has handled many of the same issues successfully which Dictator Joe Biden has failed at.

Noem announced in the afternoon that she was "going upriver" to see if the hunting was better near the New Mexico line. She produced her own bazooka and was looking forward to blowing up some Mexican cartel banditos.

Up river, Noem said she discovered numbers of smuggling tunnels and fired some more rounds off into them collapsing them. She said the Jews could learn a thing or two about slaughtering people in Gaza in tunnels if they wanted to read her paper on Successful Warfare By Governors, which is a must read in the South Dakota Military Academy.

Let's see if the Biden cash cards we planted have drawn a horde of
invaders as I brought this bazooka to do some flock shooting.

By all accounts, Republicans were wowed by this display of force by Commander in Chief Noem. Texans appreciated the show of force, though some commented they had hoped she might shoot some of the wild cattle in the cane breaks for a BBQ, but Noem had used up her ammunition in killing piles of invaders that she said were so high that they blocked out sunset.

Noem announced that she would be back if the Dictator tried anything, and next time she was bringing nuclear bombs from Ellesworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. Noem said she had an understanding with Pentagon Chief, Lloyd Austin that she could try out the new tactical nukes as they needed testing for the upcoming war she was hoping would start somewhere in Europe, the Mideast or Asia.

The question is now, can the 47th, Donald Trump resist the allure of Governor Noem now that she has deployed the South Dakota Navy, commanded Texas for a day, shot the shit out of miles and miles of border and has shown that she will not be dissuaded in taking a stand, even though her state is importing Mexican labor and not allowing the state police to arrest them when they break the law.

Finally when the Governor was asked about her not supporting Donald Trump in the primaries in 2016, Noem responded, "I just piled up a mountain of corpses. You really want to piss me off? As I will be Trump's Enforcer in making his enemies disappear!"