Lame Cherry: Kristi Noem does the Obama Double Down to be Trumps VP

I teach my rescue puppies to sit, stay and lick, before playing dead.

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Apparently the campaign of Kristi Noem has moved to the Birther Hussein Playbook, in if something is not working, that she says she is going double down in more of the same.

In this Kristi Noem, the candidate to be Donald Trump's Vice President or any slot she can move into, released a new book, written by another ghost writer, with more not history of Kristi Noem, but more of what Kristi Noem did this past weekend.

Noem started out with wearing lingerie porn with a dog she got out of the kennel to rescue, and rubbed strawberry jelly on her thighs, where the dog licked it off. In the story, Noem used so much jelly that the dog died of sugar overdose.

With that Governor Noem returned to the animal shelter and got the puppy below, which she promptly strangled.

The correct technique to strangle a puppy is to.........

Noem then found a dog in the park and kicked it. The blow broke the ribs, punctured a lung and the dog died.

When you kick a puppy in the park, use soccer side kick like in European sports.

Noem did not elaborate on the police cats which showed up, but instead that she uses goat camo ears to lure in goats, which she guns down.

Having goat ear camo is like the chicken and the egg, you can't
get goat ears without killing a goat and you can't kill a goat with out goat ear camo.

Noem posed with a gun she shoots. It is an invention of South Dakota, it is called the Noem 88, patterned after the Nazi German 88. It shoots a cannon shell and Noem stated that even if goats jump out of the way and she misses, the goat is dead. With exploding shells, the goat is skinned and deboned, which Noem delivers to the local food shelter to feed poor invaders which she employs in her Chinese butcher shop sweatshops taking over South Dakota.

One of the least fun things about hunting is cleaning game. I use my
super gun which skins, guts and tenderizes all animals up to buffalo size.

Do not look for the above dog from the animal shelter, as Noem tried out her new 88 Noem on said rescue dog and it disappeared.

Noem then said she has another gun she invented, the L 7 Noem, a strange belted magnum weapon, which shoots a square bullet the size of a brick. Noem did not elaborate on her reasoning for square bullets, but a ricochet from her gun, hit a bus load of school children, to which Noem said her gun was like a Post Birth Abortion Device and planned to market it in California.

I first had the idea about square bullets when I tried a square dildo.

Lastly, Noem completed her new 5 page novel with a segment called, "Hot Dogs in the Kitchen". Noem goes on to elaborate which breeds of dogs are best suited in the culinary kitchen. She said her favorite is the rare Mastiffian Tibetan Pugadore, which she said there were only 35 known to exist, before she cooked two up for her campaign celebration in anticipation of being Donald Trump's Vice President.

I just love the experience of getting a new puppy every day.

Noem provided a number of pointers for her sausage dogs. Using chilled meat, making sure to use ice water for mixing, and that the best smoke for Noem Hot Dogs is from the wood of the dogwood sage which is native to South Dakota as it provides a nice breakfast sausage flavor which even vegans will give up vegetables for.

You never have to take a sausage out for walk, but you miss out on the leg humpin'

The GOP is waiting for Donald Trump's reaction to Kristi Noem's Obama Double Down Overture for the Vice Presidential slot, to see if dog porn, square bullets for abortions on school buses, kicking dogs to death, goat ear camouflage and hotdogs made from rare breed dogs about extinct, will move Donald Trump to name Noem as his VP.

Noem teased at the end of her new 5 page ghost written novel, that another installment will appear, in which she now says she is Jewish, and anyone saying anything she does not like is anti semetic and that she is also an American Indian, from an extinct Norwegian Viking tribe called the Berserkers and as Indians ate dogs, she is just carrying on her native traditions and should be referred to as Chief Squaw Lives Matter.

Thee Obama Double Down.