As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I don't know why God has horseshit ideas, but if you wonder what kind of heathen the Lame Cherry is for saying that, you have been coddled by satan all your life, and not had to be carried in Faith by Jesus as you have been broken repeatedly and wonder where the Love of God goes for you.
I was thinking today in December, it is, in a pissy mood, in thinking about my old man. He was well liked by allot of people as he was a good guy, except to his family.
We start off with an early memory, I was in the 3 to 4 year old age. It was a cold bitch of a raw day in the Brier, probably September as I seem to remember some neighbors around in probably chopping silage as the old man always picked his own corn around November 7th.
So I was out. The mother was probably clueless where I was and could care less I suppose in her hell hole mind of being a cold fish mum, as why not let a 4 year old wander around outside in the cold with heavy machinery driving through the yard. No harm could ever come to me.
Yeah, enter the old man. I can see this like it was today. I was by the barn, by the gate and the old man drives up with a tractor and wagon. He commands me. There was no asking, and I seem to remember 100% I was terrified of this son of a bitch as he did allot of yelling as a drunk. See he was a drunk as the mother told him NO, he could not run off and be in the rodeo as he had a wife and kids to take care of. It was abuse and not care, but that was home.
So I get ordered to OPEN THE GATE. I knew not to fuck around and question an order, so I walk over as he sits his fat ass..........he weighed 300 pound as he was a glutton.....and I get to the gate and I asked him in my little voice, "Is the fence on?". The meaning of that is, it was an electric fence and back in the day, the electric that ran through coil fencers would knock you on your ass. The old man gruffly told me it was off and to open the gate.
I trusted him, but I was still hesitant, and I grabbed that gate and sure as hell, I got one hell of a jolt. I got the thing open, but remember glaring at this asshole as he laughed at my getting shocked. That was his kind of fun and enjoyment.
I seem to think I hated and detested that son of a bitch from that young.
The net result was my middle finger on my right hand, honest to God, had a nail which had like a crack which would flake off. Made me feel not complete and to this day when I lift heavy bags of feed, that nail will crack to the attach line. What else would you get for electrocuting a 4 year old.
Now there is a moral to this story, so hang around.
Next up, I loved horses with an infatuation. My old man liked horses for his delusions. I was scared of them as I was never taught to ride. So one Sunday, for some reason, the little mare we had named Queenie, who the old man "lent out" and she probably starved from those asshole people and she got hit by a kid with a pick up and it killed her. I had a friend tell me who saw Queenie laying in the ditch that her leg was about broke off, and he said he never would want to see a horse of his looking like that.
I can feel the eruptions of hate for the old man in typing this again. Nothing has faded.
So I was scared of the horse. The old man once again was bullying and threatening and told me to get on the horse. So I obeyed. Of course this fuck head was not going to hold onto the horse as she was trained and he was the big cowboy.
So I'm sitting there, thinking this terror is about over in a few more minutes and I can get away from him, when I hear a horn from a vehicle. It is Beloved Uncle. He had no idea I was on the horse, and tooted his horn at our ducks to get them out of the way so they would not get run over. The horse spun at the sound and away she went for the barn to get away from the old man.
We had a drainage in the yard and she jumped that. This was bareback as no kid deserved a saddle as I dreamed of having a saddle all the time. I hit the hard ground knocking the air out of me.
All I got from the old man after that was him laughing about me jumping the mud puddle.
One lovely winter day I was on the horse I trained, in my early 20's, checking fence. The old man drove by on the road, and we were unaware and he blew the horn and laughed. The horse spooked, we were in a pile of rocks, and I almost got killed.
We are coming to the moral of the story.
The thing is you were browbeat in terror to not question the old man. There was the time he had a cousin's horse named Nifty in the barn. He told me to get on her. Yeah I did it, with my head up in the joists and of course that damned horse reared as that is what the hell she did, and about drove me through the ceiling.
About this time, we come to the moral of the story. It was the 4th of July. You know the day everyone gets off to celebrate. Not me. The old man had me out bailing hay with a 650 A Vermeer. That model would wrap wet hay around the feed roller and plug the baler, so you had to cut it off by hand with a knife in another fucking terrible job.
So the old man tells me to do it. Remember now, the electrocution, the run away horse and God knows how many other things that I concluded the old man was a jackass to never trust. So I'm cutting away and pulling hay out, and I'm watching that son of a bitch out of the corner of my eye. The tractor is running as our shit never started as he would tune them up, so you left things running or you had to pull them.
It was a 450 Farmall. They have a PTO lever on the right side of the tractor. I'm working away and I notice the old man's arm starts moving backward as he is pulling the thing into drive. I remember thinking, "What the fuck are you doing!", and I jerked my hand back and in the next 1000ths of a second the baler took off and if my hand was in there, it would have ripped my arm off, the artery would have been spurting blood and I would have been dead and not typing one hand on this blog.
That time I think I did scream at him, "What the hell are you doing!!!" He never said a word. He just went to the vehicle and left me with the baler and drove off to have 4th fun. I think there is a better than average chance he was trying to collect insurance on me.
I do remember another horse incident as I was older, and this was after the old man was sick and not such a tough bastard. He had me on this young mare which I had been training. Of course you wouldn't put a saddle on a horse for a few weeks to settle them down......no the old cowboy could lead the horse around with me on it, a wild horse. That time I remember telling him, "Get the hell away from the implements as I knew Goddamn certain that horse if it bolted was going to pile me up into a load of steel.
He wouldn't listen as he was the cowboy know it all, and about 5 seconds later the horse bolted, me trying to stop the unstoppable, and the old man did hang onto the lariat, but got dragged about 7 feet so he was looking the worse for wear. I liked that part as that horse broke the old man. Never again did he think he could handle big animals. I got off, disgusted again over that dumbass and now we come to the moral of the story.
If my old man had not been the tool of the devil which he was, as he spouted Bible verses, in electrocuting me and about killing me on a horse, I would not be here today as he would have murdered me in that baler on July 4th. You might know why I don't trust most people and after the hard winter we had a few years ago, I trust people even less now.
You bet I have rage in me from this yet, even though the old man is dead, thank God. You might understand that I believe God killed my old man with a heart attack as I just could not take anymore of him. At that time, I was not well, and the mother was trying to get me to move his recliner into the kitchen so he could sit up and sleep. I told her, "I ain't doing that. Put him in the old folks home as we are not going through this again".
With that she went in to check on him, and he was dead in bed. I did CPR and he did not revive. I got sick from the stress of it all in almost puking afterwards.
So as I said, I don't know about God's horseshit ideas, but I have some growth part in it for God's Glory and I don't know all the things I would know if I had good parents like most people do. It is what it is, but I learned young to not trust my old man. I learned older to not trust my treacherous mum. It probably helped keep me alive as I sure work to not ever be like them.
Oh and by the way, before the mother died, she told me one night, "Your dad was not such a bad guy".
I never said a word as nothing can be said to someone that deluded.
As a pleasant closing in this, the night before God took the mum out of this world, she was sitting her chair acting superior with the cat we had, Puntz. I was watching that cat as she got off in that cat clawing me, and I told her, "You watch that cat as he is going to nail you". I could see it.
Next second, the cat attacked her, she never said a word, and just kept wiping the blood away. That still makes me smile and while my horrid parents I doubt have an eternal Heaven, that cat I do pray is there as he could not help the hell that woman put him through. I ended up shooting him, as he was plain dangerous and I was not having him claw TL or something worse.
I get into Spirit and that cat won't be able to do a thing to me. He will be one pleasant thing along with the runaway mare in animals who deserved better, but suffered because of my parents.
Nuff Said
agtG
agtG
