I just personally know that Barack the messiah Obama is on his way to Georgia to stop all wars, bring all peace and insert his campaign pledges into the Caucasus to solve all as that is what the messiah has proclaimed for America.
Perhaps though messiah Obama, the epitome, the noted, the one, is walking on water on his way to Georgia as it has now been 6 days and he has yet to appear. Obviously, the messiah is walking as his private jet would have had him there within hours just like on his rock tour.
Never mind though, I'm certain he is on his way.
In an exclusive, this report will reveal exactly what peace plan the messiah will initiate by simply repeating his own words from his own speeches to solve all problems in Georgia. Certainly what is good for the mountain is good for the Muhammed.
First, out of respect for the Russian Orthodox Church, the messiah will change his name on a new birth certificate to "The Great Swammy Obama" and will heretofore after be referrred to as the Great Swammy of Hawaii.
In his opening remarks just like at the Adolf Hitler monument to war in Germany, the Great Swammy will say at a rock concert with free vodka and borsch, "I'm sorry Georgia, Russia and Ossetia. It is all America's fault".
This will gain him wonderful approval from the Russians and Ossetians. Later though in private the Great Swammy will tell the Georgians that he believes in infanticide to solve problems and has concluded that Georgia must abort Ossetia.
The Great Swammy will then hand out all new birth certificates noting that all Ossetians are only all really only in their third trimester and can all have their heads pulled out with a metal bar at which point a needle will be jammed into their skull and their brains sucked out in a partial birth abortion.
The Great Swammy has voted for this and spoken for it in America, so therefore it must be a good thing for all Ossetia.
Next, Great Swammy will travel to Moscow for private talks with the Russians. He will tell them he believes in the hope of the Soviet state reborn in the government taking over all health care and audaciously pronounce that he is one with Vladamir Putin as he fist butts him on live television.
Whereupon he will tell Mr. Putin that you can't trust those white Georgians.
Having told Russia he is one with them against Georgia, Great Swammy will then have his Middle Eastern limo driver find him a good time guy in Larenko Sinclairokov where they will both then sample imported opium and the finer delights of mad gay sexual rendevous Russian style.
Flying back to Georgia, Great Swammy will then inform Georgia, he is one with them and believes they now should all have guns and a tax cut to stimulate their war economy.
He also reveals a full pull out of all Russian forces from Ossetia in eighteen months and or whatever the Russian generals in Ossetia tell him he can agree with as he has no plan.
Then in flying back to Russia in a keynote address before parliment, the Great Swammy will state, "We worship an "awesome God" in Blue State Russia, and we don't like Georgian agents poking around in our cities in Red State Ossetia. We coach Little League in Blue State Russia, but we have got some gay friends in Red State Ossetia".
(Puzzled Russians will ask what all America did not ask in the 2004 Democratic keynote address just what kind of pedophile statement that was in comparing children in blue states to gays in red states, because Catholics sort of got into hot water mixing holy water with hot gay priest passion with children.)
But of no matter, the Great Swammy will return to Georgia and issue the following statement, "My response to aggression is that we must use nuclear weapons to attack Pakistan and blow up the Pashtun."
(Puzzled Georgians will ask what America did not ask in what does bombing Pakistan have to do with what is going on elsewhere when the attack is coming from Russia.)
The Great Swammy will then attend Georgian parlament and give the following speech as he was praised for his speech on religion:
“People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend’s voice up into the rafters….And in that single note — hope! — I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city,
(This blog apologizes for interrupting the Great Swammy, but thousands of Churches in Chicago? Wow Chicago has 4553 listings for churches. I guess that is why the Great Swammy heard them all calling out, but then there are Churches and then there are churches like the Great Swammy calls his own.
Sort of like fidelity in, "I did not have sex with that man, Lawrence Sinclair."
Now back to the Great Swammy.)
I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion’s den, Ezekiel’s field of dry bones. Those stories — of survival, and freedom, and hope — became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood".
The Great Swammy will state that little David Georgia must slay giant Goliath Russia as their story is his story and the blood spilled is the Great Swammy's blood.
He will continue on with his AIPAC speech to Jews in telling Georgians, "I will ensure that Georgia can defend itself from any threat — from Gaza to Tehran. Defense cooperation between the United States and Georgia is a model of success, and must be deepened.
By this time Vladamir Putin will notice that what Barack Obama is telling him is completely opposite of what he was telling the Georgians to get the Democratic nomination.
The Georgians will then notice that nothing the Great Swammy is telling them is making a great deal of sense as aborting Ossetia is a crime against humanity and Georgia as David got his sling taken away by Goliath Russia and was whipped with it.
The Great Swammy will inform all that this does not matter as there are 57 states in the United States and in them the bitter working class does not understand him either as 400 million people died in Ossetia from a tornado, but he is glad to be in Georgia the home state of Jimmy Carter which is next to Leningrad where Lenin gave a Karl Marx speech in 1914 that so inspired the Great Swammy's parents to have sex that he was born and is now 94 years old.
All of that of course will award the Great Swammy, the noted one, the epitome, the Nobel Peace Prize as Georgians and Russians will come together just as Democrats will unite in Denver to vote for Barack the Great Swammy Obama.
It all makes perfect sense for Americans and Democrats in not questioning Barack Obama's statements, but praise him instead.
So let Georgia and Russia and the aborted of Ossetia praise Barack Obama, as unquestioned he is already President of the United States and has put his Chicago home on the market as he is moving on up to that deluxe apartment in Ossetia, now vacated with the assistance of Zbigniew Brzezinski.........and from the Russian press we know the Great Swammy is the right choice as the Bolsheviks and Putincrats have chosen him, even knowing that Mr. Brzezinski has sworn to destroy them.
Perhaps the Great Swammy Obama has told the Russians he will bring them all back to life as communists like him.
agtG
