Exclusive, the Obamaburg Address, from hisself, the Prime Minister, original, speechified of Birdie Obama's Prime Ministerial address for January 20th, 2009 AB (after Obama)Ladies and gentlemen, Senators, Congress folks, former Presidents, homosexual liaisons and ah ah ah ah, lend me your ears.
Four scores and 1 Obama ago, my father brought me fornicated in a new nation, conceived in my mother's jungle lust, born in Kenya and registered in Hawaii like a hot Ford jumping across the Mexican border. I didn't know anything then as I was only a baby, but I knew I think I knew I always was going to be President of some nation and shazam, here I'm President.
Listen my children and you shall hear of the ah ah ah, Obama ride ah ah ah, of the one you hold dear. I was born in the summer of 61 and hardly ah ah ah, I had yet begun.
Ask not what you can do for your country, but rather ask what you can do for your Obama. I remember being in Germany at that Adolf Hitler monument he loved so much on my rock concert tour and remembering President Kennedy. I was surprised when they told me that Teddy was not him, but there was really another Kennedy in politics.
President Kennedy said something like while in Berlin, "Eat not Berliner", so I didn't eat any brats in Berlin as I suspected he was warning that the food would make you sick. I did though drink a few beers.
We should not fear eating brats in Germany, so I'm going to make that my main medical assignment for Tom Daschle. The only thing we should fear is not the fear of eating brats, but the fear of not having beer.
This is one giant step ah ah ah, I mean, this is one step for me and one giant leap for mankind in having been elected to the Office of the President. I have a monkey in my pants and I have a monkey in my pants.
This is a date which shall live from my infancy.
The buck stops here though unless there is some kind of trouble like buying Senate seats, then it is as I affirmed, because I affirmed it and I believe it, I have investigated myself and found myself innocent. Trust me, I know I will verify all I have said.
My measure which I intend to measure myself is my measure in measuring myself as the measure of this nation to measure myself by. In this measure, I assure you the measure which is measured is a change which will change when changed, when you believe in change, you can change to believe, thereby the change in changing is a belief to believe in change which is change which will benefit the change to believe in.
It is a far far better thing I do in doing this and in doing this I have done this and it is far better done in doing by doing in being done.
Let the word go forth from this time and place, to those I have apologized to and those I will apologize to in the future concerning the evil of America, that the torch has been passed to me, a new kind of American, born a British subject, registered an American Citizen, born of the last century, tempered by being abandoned by my parents, driven on by hard and bitter resentments, dealing with my inner demons with cigarettes, and unwilling to witness or permit the United States from paying for being successful when my life sucked, and I want to affirm this in being committed today at home to this purpose and around the world in apologizing for anything anyone wants an apology for.
Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free, tis a gift that all of you bow down to me, and, in that simple place in the world just right, I will rule you all to my delight.
Can, can, can you ever be like me? To be Barack Obama is only my destiny. To live as I live and ah ah ah, four score and one Obama ago..........wait I said that...........here this is it.
I say the bloom of the rose which I throw at memorials is a message of the strength in casting away things and if a rose petal can take that kind of throw, it just goes to show what kind of a thorn a petal is in being tough. I think that is perfectly clear in me saying that.
Peggy Noonan, thank you for you being you. Thank yourself for being you as I thank myself for being me many times a day.
My struggle in life is my struggle. I have found that religion is the aphrodisiac of the masses where rich white folks use it to control poor black folks to suffer. My plan is to take all the money from rich white folks and keep it for myself and then white and black folks will be equally poor and I will control them both.
Democracy is about choosing a dictator after they have told you what you think you want to hear. I have told you some whoppers to get here and I plan to dictate.
Dust in the wind, all we are in dust in the wind.........I have allot more here, but it is cold out here and my nose is cold. I'm going to go have a smoke and be President. I think tomorrow I will be President and have a smoke.
That's enough as this president thing is taking up too much of my time.
Oh yeah, allah bless budha krishna and that other one in the United States of Obamanation and to Amerika for which I stand.
Michelle do you have my cigs? I got to have a cig, because if I don't have a cig I won't get no pudding and if I don't get no pudding how can I have a cig.
agtG
