As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I happened to be looking at TV listings, even if I do not watch television and noticed this, and about had a convulsion.
Blood & Oil (New)
ABC: Sunday, September 27 8:00 PM
Drama
Pilot
Billy and Cody Lefever move to North Dakota hoping to cash in on the largest oil discovery in American history; Cody becomes uncertain about her husband's choices when Billy crosses paths with a powerful oil baron named Hap Briggs.
Cast: Don Johnson, Chace Crawford, Rebecca Rittenhouse, Scott Michael Foster, Amber Valletta, India de Beaufort, Adan Canto, Miranda Rae Mayo, Delroy Lindo Director(s): Jonas Pate Executive Producer(s): Tony Krantz, Josh Pate, Rodes Fishburne, Drew Comins, Don Johnson
Original Air Date: Sep 27, 2015
I mean my God in Heaven, does Hollywood think that North Dakota is "Dallas" with JR Ewing and those lovely big titted creatures offering sex with every oil well that gushes each day?
Look, I know North Dakota. I know her history. I know her present and I know her future. I have a large cadre of doltish family who exist there. Those folks are Norwegians and Germans. Fargo......that movie is more akin to what North Dakota is, except probably the cutting up of people.....unless it is some Minnesota Mexican let loose in Fargo or some Indian out on the Rez.......probably from South Dakota and on meth.
I can assure you, there are no people named HAP in North Dakota. There are are lots of Lars Larsons, Swen Swensons and Bonehead Brownschweizers. They do not talk, they do not smile, they rarely engage in sex, and they would rather go plant sugar beets or fish perch in Devil's Lake than be bothered with people. They would rather hide in a weed patch than suffer a conversation.
The idea of sex and North Dakota is something akin to finding an honest politician in Washington. There is no intrigue there. It is boring and that is what makes North Dakota charming.
There are good things there, like there Game and Fish Department is great in managing wildlife for hunters. There people are good, but that damned oil trash is infusing sodom into those people's lives and they do not like it.....well unless you are Scott Hennen in Fargo, sucking off of Harold Hamm's oil derricks for profit.
I can assure you that women in North Dakota do not look like aliens, like Rebecca Rittenhouse, and they do not show their tits off. Babies have to close their eyes in nursing as it is state law and God strikes mother's dead there by lightning if even a nipple protrudes.........hell in delivering babies, the doctor has to keep his eyes closed and better hope his hands do not wander too far or the husband will shoot the PHD.
I can think of nothing more boring than North Dakota and Don Johnson. Well add some half naked chic named india de beaufort and that gets you visions of those over weight, ugly squaws up there, and that is even more offensive to Indians in mocking them with some hot chick which does not exist in North Dakota.
North Dakota is allot of this....................................
with allot of wind, allot of wind and allot of wind...........and allot of bland spaces, with people glad to get off work to sit inside, before venturing to go kill some fish, fur or game.....the odd ones play golf and try to recreate, but that is all foreign to the people there.
I honestly could not think of a worse place to put a show. North Dakota is not Dallas with sexy women and evil tycoons. North Dakota is frumpy women with people to genetically nice to be evil. I am still shaking my head over this........what comes next, Sex in the City becomes Sex in the Synagogue........a tale of strippers and women speaking of gyno things over tasteless food and little Jew caps used to cover nipples?
A real North Dakota oil show would be about non attractive people, carrying too much weight, looking out their window and complaining about foreigners from Alabama and Colorado, as the cat comes in the door, carrying a mouse it lets loose as the ruler of the house, shoots it and blows a hole in the wall.......which is a conversation piece for the next day's coffee and cookies.
agtG
