Monday, February 22, 2016

Naked and Exposed: The Ted Cruz Interview

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

The world thanks Mark Levin, for this Naked and Exposed Interview, of Ted Cruz.

Mark Levin: Ted, may I call you Ted?

Ted Cruz: Of course you can Mark.

Mark Levin: Thank you Ted. As a foreign born usurper of the United States Constitution who has covered up taking Goldman Sachs money in a criminal act, can you tell us how great you will be for America?

Ted Cruz: I will be great Mark. I will be great.

Mark Levin: Ted, let's talk about Iowa in your stealing Ben Carson votes, and stealing the win from Donald Trump, can you tell us how honest you are Ted?

Ted Cruz: I am honest Mark, honest, I am honest.

Mark Levin: Ted, your wife worked for the Rockefeller CFR in which she wrote a radical paper for the ending of America and America being absorbed into Canada and Mexico, can you tell us how much you love America please?

Ted Cruz: I love America Mark, I really love America to death

Mark Levin: Ted, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio, both have stated, as have the Evangelicals, that you are the dirtiest, nastiest liar in American politics, could you answer that please?

Ted Cruz:Look I'm still not the father of lies in satan, in I have not crucified Christ yet, but I do understand Jesus is returning and as Glenn Beck says I am the anti Christ, I think people will appreciate I am just starting out.

Mark Levin: There is that video of you pinching your child to hurt her, to make her kiss you in public. Is that child abuse?

Ted Cruz: Not in the least Mark, I am sure children all across America have big black pinch marks on them every day from parents doing things like I do.

Mark Levin: Ted can you really win?

Ted Cruz:Mark it is not about winning, it is about cheating, and I have proven I can do that.

Mark Levin: Ted when you suck cock, does it tastes minty to you or salty, as I can not make up my mind?

Ted Cruz: Well, Mark, I find that if Big Koch is given a minty sucky sweet before I get on my knees, that it does have a minty flavor to it. I learned that from Henry Kissinger.

Mark Levin: Which do you prefer though Ted?

Ted Cruz: It depends Mark, in if I am having ice cream afterwards, I like a little salt beforehand for the sweet, but if I have been eating out, I like the minty flavor to cover up that fishy taste.

Mark Levin: But how do you handle that cock on the breath smell that we all have?

Ted Cruz: I will tell you Mark, that I am so used to both salty and minty flavors, that it is all cock on the breath to me, and I get an erection around Mint Juleps as much as salt pork, as I just can not help it like Pavlov's dog.

Mark Levin: I can understand that Ted, as I get that same reaction around gerbils.

Ted Cruz: I do too Mark........wait was that a question?

Mark Levin: You really trashed Sarah Palin, after she supported Donald Trump and she was the Tea Party leader who made you, how do you explain that?

 Ted Cruz: Look, I took out the Rockefellers after using them, took out the Bush fam after using them, betrayed Donald Trump, betrayed Evangelicals, so who is Sarah Palin but another woman to slap around. My wife likes it, I have Heidi saying I am the face of god and that is after I drove her nuts to almost throwing herself in front of a train.

Mark Levin: Ted people have said your foreign policy is insane as it will cause more terrorists to be flushed from the Mideast and terror attacks in America. How do you answer that?

Ted Cruz: I will just carpet bomb them in Europe and America like I did the Mideast.

Mark Levin: Won't that kill Americans and Europeans?

Ted Cruz: We have to keep our eye on the big picture. My kid has bruises and I blow up thousands of American and European children, but I get a kiss from my daughter and I eliminate people who will not vote for me, so it is a win win.

Mark  Levin: Do you ever think you will end up in jail?

Ted Cruz: No mark I do not, as I plan to put everyone in jail or burn them at the stake who disagree with me first.

Mark Levin: Tell me about Donald Trump?

Ted Cruz: He likes God, women and America too much to arouse me.

Mark Levin: Tell me about Marco Rubio?

Ted Cruz: He does not have my thin lips which I can vibrate on a penis head to perfection. Sort of like your lips Mark.

Mark Levin: Ted could you rank me?

Ted Cruz: Mark, I of course am first, then I would say Beck, then Rush, then you, then Hannity, and at the bottom would be Matt Walsh and Erick Erickson, as they have those rubber lips, and if there is one thing Frank Davis Marshall always told Obama it was, "Rubbers are for condoms, not for Uncle Frank".

Mark Levin: Some have compared you to Nixon and McCarthy, how do you respond?

Ted Cruz: They were Americans and I have nothing in common with them.

Mark Levin: We are running out of time Ted, so we have to wrap this up. As you are the most principled and as Rush Limbaugh says the most like Ronald Reagan, how do you respond to Nancy Reagan not supporting you?

Ted Cruz: I do not know if Nancy Reagan ever had cock on the breath, but I can tell you that I have, and I am a better cock sucker, dick licker and schlong donger than Nancy Reagan ever could be. I would have done Ronald Reagan even if I would have had to have drugged him, because you know Mark, like Erick Erickson, Glenn Beck, Matt Walsh, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and you Mark, we all have been sodomizing old Ron our entire deceptive careers as his strange bedfellows.

Now ask me about necrophilia, so we can compare notes.