Tuesday, April 26, 2016
changes for me
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I know it is often a reality in a Captain Kirk world that all things work together for them that love the Lord.
I am sitting here looking at the greatest example in TL before me. I think of the disasters in people I would have been with if I had my will done and yet there is TL in a recliner, typing away about something Christian which TL was called to do.
I wonder about destiny and fate. I wonder how Joan of Arc could be so pivotal for me, and then vanish in having other duties, like my puppy Ruby, having now a higher calling in doing all sorts of things, after showing up with my flocks and herds which have died and making peace with me and them.
I miss them, but then it is boot and saddles at 3 AM for all God's children.
I think of people who thought it was the worst tragedy of people who thought it was the worst thing in being fired from United Airlines and then 9 11 appeared, and perhaps even having a heart operation and not being at the Pentagon, seemed like a pretty good deal after that day was done.
I think of almost joining the Marines, in how I would be dead now, as I had a fatal flaw and my talents were better utilized elsewhere.
I think of if were not for a series of absolute assholes in Minnesota, both agents who were quite mean to me, I would now be an author or you would have heard my music on stage, and this blog would not have been here, as I would have been on a different timeline. It comes to a reality of how different would each of your lives have been if we had never met, and how different this 486 I am spinning on would be different if I had not met each of you.
Each of us is defined by not our work, our finances, our homes, our things, or even our families or friends, but each of us is defined by God in us. He is the One Who makes us all we are, and the outward things are not us. I try not to let things bother me like not being allowed to play on the big boys arena as there is a mandate to not mention the popular girl. All of us want recognition at times, whether it is a clearance or just to hear we are not a crazy twat to be judged by a world of one intellectual. When that does not come though as in most cases, it is the time to dig down deeper into God and talk things over with Him.
I always know that God has things ordered, even in disorder and the job I have is in most cases on the line, and when things do not go right, I am looking at an entire regime with many measures to eradicate me. This is not about me and the dangers, but about you. It is about remembering someone like Abraham Clarke of the Revolution, an enemy of the state, his children in prison, and even not being completely enraptured with George Washington, as he deemed all men fallible.
I noticed yesterday and mentioned it to God, that I do not like always being hunkered down thinking something is going to go wrong or something is going to die. I may not like it, but being wary might be a condition that keeps my arm from being pulled off into a Vermeer baler.......yes I do not know if my dad was trying to collect insurance on me or just a dumb ass that day, but it might be a bit more difficult doing this job in being one armed, and all it was, was mistrust of my dad and a fraction of a second, and my arm would have been gone, and I probably would have bled out on the ground as arteries just keep pumping.
I try not to think of most things. I grieve for the things I think lost, and then try to find something like Daisy to appreciate........she requires a search sometimes as of late in finding ways to find attention....like being led into the barn and then bucking out of the barn, to stand there innocently today waiting for me to put the rope back on her, and lead her 6 feet forward again.
May God always give you a better way than the door closed as it is the world locked in, and you liberated to new adventures for the Glory of God, in Jesus Name Amen and Amen