Thursday, June 9, 2016

Department 88

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

I daydream a great deal, as what do little poor waifs do but fantasize about  some White Knight riding up and giving me a gun to shoot all the bad people in the world. In this case, I was thinking of the White Knight, that Arthur of the New Camelot, Donald Trump, flying by and First Lady Melania, throwing out a titanium canister shell, with a nice note of appreciation for this sapper in the wire, and a nice commission as Maximus Erectus, Praetor General of America.

I know the title is a bit Roman, but it is more the what department I would manage for the Motherland, America in the Trump Administration. Yes it would be Department 88.

I realize that Department 88 sounds as odd as MI6 or G2, before they got up and running, but it might be more easy to explain what Department 88 would be by just giving you a day in the life of the Praetor Master, Protector General of America.

So like I get up, and have this nice black uniform, with white trim, and red arm band, with a white seal of skull and cross bones. So I put it on, with my knee high black boots, strap on my 1911 Colt pistol with ivory grip, and black holster, and am greeted by my staff, the Sandmen.
Let me explain the Sandmen, in there are no stupid, fat, lezbo, gaymo.....or anything else distasteful, as these are people chosen for ability, and not affirmative action quotas.

So I get my briefing on what all the Sandmen are employing in North America to defend Americans, and for the Trump Administration, my orders are today, by my reckoning issued the day before to pay a visit to Mark Zuckerberg for stealing my Facebook account and terrorizing me.
A most serious charge in having threatened the future Lord Protector of the American People.

So anyway, we jump in my personal pulse aircraft and are in California within the hour.

So we get into our nice Mercedes diesel protector transports and drive up to the Zuckerberg compound and I knock on the door.

Oh that is right, this is the part which makes no sense, because in Department 88, we carry around German 88 mm cannons, hence the name for Department 88. See this is how I knock on the Zuckerberg door as the Sandmen are knocking on Facebook's headquarter doors simultaneously.
The nice thing about Department 88 is the German 88 is our announcement of "Police". It simply saves time, energy in yelling, as it opens the door, tells the story of a warrant, and in most cases, with an explosive incendiary shell would be judge, jury and sentencing all by the 4th volley.
Look, you have to get this, that when anyone decides to terrorize an American in any form, they probably should have figured out that Americans would show up, so it is their fault for not being on their front lawn for months with a white flag of surrender, or at least jetted down to Gitmo to be ass raped by Muslims to death as the most remedial measure.

So that is basically Department 88, a nice law enforcement division, which will protect all good Americans and not be concerned if some Mexican, Canadian or traitor to America happens to get in the way of an 88 shell.

That pretty much is Department 88........oh and of course the official notice that the poor people can come and loot and squat on the property as they see fit, as sort of an upward mobility for American poor who have been destroyed in this Obama era.

I think it would be all fetching really, in my convertible Mercedes security machine, me standing with my Patton googles on, firing off my 45 at malcontents I see in the way, and my big 88 mounted in the rear. And yes of course, all Americans could have their own 88's. Be a simple formality really, of showing your identification, paying whatever would be the cost for 88, mount it on your Ford made in America, and enjoy the toy.

I would call all of my children, the Motherland Guard. We would have special shells for the 4th of July for magnificent fireworks displays. It would all be festive and wonderful, with everyone off by 3 pm as how long does it take to knock on a door eh?

Then a nice relaxing bath, personal robot doing pedicure, and off for supper at 5, for a gala evening of listening to President Trump speak, followed by cocktails and plentiful meat horderves.

Any way, we all have our fantasies of knocking before entering being the full weight of the United States Government making it legal. I just would hope that Americans would recover that right, as guns do not seem to bluff much any more, so a German 88 would certainly be something to be strapped onto a Ford democracy.