Sunday, December 10, 2017

A Confession in Thyme

Sorry, we do not absolve democrats...

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Bless me father for I have sinned.

How long has it been since your last confession my child?

I can not be sure father, not as sure as the sinning, but even the sinning I am not so sure of as Barack Obama said I'm not a sinner, the Pope says I don't need Christ and I see that Hollywood rewards pedophiles, so father outside this box, I am sort of celebrated. It certainly got me a good Muslim contract, a fine Mexican slave and some pleasing carnal knowledge.

This is a confessional my child and not a bragging box of the worship of this world.

They say it is not bragging father if you can accomplish the work.

They say many things, now what do you say about your sins.

It is not a sin to be Irish.

Irish what?

What do you mean Irish what?

What kind of Irish are you?

Black Irish.

 That is a mortal sin my child.

It's a sin to be Irish?

 Yes a mortal sin, as you know what you are and have not repented from it.

How was I supposed to be repenting from how I was born?
Perhaps you should ask why Obama did not pass a law like he did for sodomy so you would not have this religious problem with Irish mortal sin.

They already have laws against race, creed and color discrimination.

.....and sex, do not forget the sex my child.

Are you going to Hail Mary me or not?

I am not.

But you have to!!!

No I do not.

But I confessed and you have to Hail Mary me and things are whatever again.

No I do not. You are Irish and that is a mortal sin for which you have knowingly engaged in and have not repented, so I do not absolve you from your sin. If it was a venial sin, then that is a different matter as Catholics have different kinds of sins, but being Irish is not venial.

Then what is a venial sin?

Venial sins are lying to yourself about how good you are, seeing people in need and ignoring them or engaging in some unplanned sin.

I didn't plan to be Black Irish.

No, but you have not repented either of being Black Irish.

How do I repent of it then?

That would be a major undertaking and you are not ready for that kind of commitment. You would probably have to work up to such a task.

How would I do that?

Try to stop being a liberal fornicator, judging others and coming into confessionals thinking this is some license for you to go be a whore. Try that for a few hours each day, and see if you can pull that off one day a week, and then see if you can be normal a few days together.

Then I can come back and you will absolve me?


What do you mean "NO"!!!!

You do not get to come back for this privilege of a confessional as you abused it. You must now earn it and prove you are legitimate by not sinning mortal or venial.

Well what if I die or something before that?

Then you should get started now and stop wasting time.

What if I die?

Then you will go to hell, as you chose to sin, instead of straightening up and being normal.

You will give me last rights or something won't you?


No? You have to give last rights.

No I do not as you are unrepentant Black Irish.

Well if I.........

We are through here my child, stop the mortal sins, and then come back and you can work on the sin of being Black Irish.

With that the confessional door slid shut and the sinner was left alone.

I'm going to read that Bible and just see where it says being Black Irish is a sin!!!!

Nuff Said