Saturday, December 9, 2017
The Puntz and the Pet
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
We are starring in a new reality made for internet drama, called The Puntz and The Pet, and it is quite telling in the international story line which has just sort of happened.
Above is The Puntz, the dog who owns me and or us. The thing is three human pets are not enough for The Puntz as we became aware of a new pet which The Puntz acquired, in the Vole.
This is the picture of the Vole.
We have since named his or her, "Voley".
Voley is interesting. He and or she, rattles around a great deal. He and or she, comes out, goes into The Puntz's dish, picks out a pellet of cat food and goes back into the dark recesses, to rattle around.
I did not know that voles ate chicken, but this one just loves Puntz's chicken that I dice up for her. The other day I watched Voley eating chicken jerky which was dried on the paper plate with relish.
The thing is, that like America and Donald Trump, Kate Steinle and Muslim and Mexican Rape Cock, that I started hearing squeaking at night in the kitchen. Not the squeaking when The Puntz catches Voley and lets Voley shriek away in terror, but the kind of when I hear Voley on the right side of me, and a rattling of another kind in the left side trash.
One vole is one vole two many, two voles is.......well two voles.
So with the Vole Rodent War taking place in the kitchen, I decided to depopulate the Invasion of the Voles with a mouse trap. I had built a better mouse trap awhile back out of a cracker box which caught a European vermin invader mouse much to my delight as The Puntz was doing a great deal of stalking and not any execution of sentence.
Any way, two days in, peanut butter an I heard a snap last night and one dead vole. As I do not like touching dead voles as I have cracked hands from the cold, I left it. Today it had been moved and I learned something about Voley. Voley is more than a meat eater of chicken. Voley is a cannibal, as there was this hole in the invader vole behind the shoulder. I deem that Voley ate it's heart out of it's sworn enemy in this Vole War, as Voley does not put up with invasion shit in his and or her country. No need for Vole Walls like Donald Trump as voles just eat the hearts out of their vermin.
This is not the end of The Putz and The Pet, as I has to take the dead vermin out, and I learned part two of this, as The Puntz has her own laws.
Putz law is like, do not touch me when I am pissing on your coat to mark you as mine as I will growl, hiss, spit, claw and try to bite you, as you are mine and I will fight for my rights of ownership.
Second Puntz Law is "Thou shalt not remove my Voley pet's cannibal trophy as I will fight you for the corpse as it is my Voley pet's trophy".
Yes I noticed as I got the trap with the invader vole in it, that I heard growling an there was The Puntz, growling, to which is stepped over and got more growling, more hissing, clawing and bitig. So being taught by The Puntz, I chased The Puntz with a broom and said something colorful like, "You son of a she dog you are not growling at me".
This is the second time in a week this has taken place as The Puntz and I have border wars like this in discussing our boundaries. The Puntz says she rules and she does 99% of the time, but I have my limits in the 1%, in I do not wear cat pee perfume and no rotting Voley trophies of voles that Voley is eating the heart out of to gain courage and other necessary things that great warriors have done for a very long time.
It is not the heart eating part, but dead rodents start to stink big time as they bloat, just like other vermin does. So my 1% right is no cat pee perfume and no rotting rodent ambiance.
It is interesting in a sociological observation that The Puntz is ok in having pets, but the pets do not like other dirty pets. Like Voley was just fine as 1 vole, but when Voley was having to compete for houses, food, space etc... a big fight started, and in the end, my being head of security closed the border and then Voley ate one of his and or her own kind.
It is odd in that in Voley as an animal by instinct immediately recognized the threat and attacked. The Puntz who did not like eating vole pooped on food, but that I was buying, still kept the voles around like the Kushner's do as other people pay the bills for their welfare profits. When I though protected my home from home invasion and occupation, The Puntz agreed, but did not like my removing her possession in the commerce of voles.
TL had a pet vole in the metro. TL fed it almonds as it lived under the oven. It was a very clean vole as all native American species are. I though have my limits in The Puntz may have only one pet vole as I have to feed the things, and now that I know they really eat meat, I do not care to become the entree some night. The only fangs that get to penetrate my hide is The Puntz's
The lessons in the laws of nature are a dichotomy in how uncivilized animals eat each other, but in civilized animals thy are supposed to let the predators eat them.
Odd how with 20 cats outside, I still got invaded by two voles. That wall of cats did absolutely no good as they are all paid in cat chow so have no reason to enforce security.
So many lessons in nature and being a pet of a cat, or my dog named The Puntz.