As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
It occurred to me just now that all of you reading this are plagued by the condition that you want to live. It is why you do not donate as you think you will need the money. It is why you screw with donations because you con yourself that you will not be judged for your actions. It is why you come here to suck the Spiritual blood from this blog to get a thrill and judge the things here as you are inquisitors to damn me every day.
You so want to live and so want to hang onto this life. Odd how you are the exact opposite of me as all I have every desired to do is die.
Living is the easy part. It is the dying that is hard. I know that people do this every day by the millions, but that is because the expiration date has been met. Dying, the real dying is just not that easy to giving up the ghost.
My animals get murdered all the time by satan and that is easy with your help. Some animals though that I suffer through like baby calves lay there as I care for them and they struggle each day as I watch them die.
I have one focus and that is Christ and reaching Him in death. Death was an early enlightenment to me, as I had lots of dead people in my childhood. My sister, my Gram, the neighbors, Aunts, Uncles, friends, they all got the easy way out. Even my old man who was a real bastard, after torturing people for years, simply just died in his sleep. Not that he got a blessed end, as that was more the Grim Reaper answering a prayer, but all the same, I have known death, because the demons told me I would be dead before I reached 18 years old.
Sure I fought it all like you, in struggling against it, and I never gave up stupidly as I thought I wanted things in life, but the more I suffer the more it comes to me that a Jesus who made all things, sure can make me things in Heaven, including steaks out of nothing. So maybe there are Spiritual streams with beavers in them and apple trees for shade for me there as the majority of you cannibals are hanging onto a life you are all going to lose.
The thing is I don't care if my fantasies of Heaven ever come true, as I don't care. If God lets me get there by Jesus and it is a big place, I don't care what it is. I have heard those near death things in singing flowers and whatever music without a beat, but I really don't have time for things like that. I just hope for grass that is green, robins for music and some place in solitude that does not lay like a rock.
Death is where all things begin for me. I get free from the police state, from paying taxes, from being sick, from people, from sitting here with cold feet. Personally, I don't care if the lie is true that there is nothing out there and I am just dead. That Heaven is just a body induced opiod dream to give you something warm for a moment that feels like an eternity. The gift is, that it is all over and I don't have to deal with life any more.
I was thinking tonight that the worst prayer ever given and answered was when my mom prayed for me in her barren womb. It is like Job cursing the day he was born. I don't curse it, I just know this broken body from the womb was fashioned a bit with holes in it and I have been two halves of a missing whole and what a waste of creation it was when God blipped a fraction of a moment to make this worthless presence of me appear.
How most of you are in love with this life. How you cling to it. The only thing I could think of is the last cruelty to me is to have an NDE and God sends me back in an even more broken body form.
When I think of the waste of the last two years in electing Donald Trump, it was not a waste the Holy Ghost says as it was all for purpose in the children of God choosing right, and still showing righteousness in not being blindly led. But it is all vanity as Solomon said, as all things are vanity in this world and only the Wisdom of God is the foundation of that which is proverbial enduring.
I am watching Inspector Morse and he just asked if his partner believed in evil. He said it wsa useless to blame God or the devil, because some people are just evil, and those of you reading this know what evil you are in the debts and depths.
Good writing in Morse, as he stated his investigations always suspected the last person who saw the victim alive was the prime suspect, but his antagonist had it wrong in suspecting the first person who saw them dead.
Do you ever wonder about the moment you are dead and out of your body? I do often, and know how rough everything looks dead as that is dead. I sort of pity the body as no one cares for it as it is just something to be disposed of.
Kind of amusing in Morse in his analogy as it is Jesus or the devil that does the deed, and in either case they are the first person who sees you dead or the last person who sees you alive.
There is no merciful quick end to any of this, whether nuclear exits or not. In most cases, if one calmly waits for death, that is the easy part, as once you are content that death is the solution, then you stop fighting and you are calm inside.
The Bible says taking your life or some other innocent is not accepted. George Custer took his life instead of being tortured. Mercy killing is not something the Bible speaks on or everyone would be taking an easy way out, well except those still infatuated with life.
The thing is my bro in law's old man decided to take the easy way out, no kidney dialysis, as his wife died and he decided he would just die. Just dying took two weeks, cracked lips, swelled tongue, dehydration in a right proper Catholic last rites, as I never figured God saw a difference between killing yourself without water or blowing your head off, as death is death and it never come easy in those seeking it.
That is the short answer for Satan nuclear missiles as it all comes down to trusting the Lord.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it.
I should probably wrap this up as tomorrow's discovery awaits. I already am where you fear to be.