As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I hope I am not going to piss off two people I care about in this in our personal lives, but the decent people always are wondering what kind of hell the brier patch is unleashing on us and in receiving a letter from the Viking which I share, for his goodness and to show to others that none of us are alone in being exhausted in thinking we can do no more, that somehow by God's Grace, will power is about all we can muster to get up and move.
Dearest Sisters, You make me cry with gratitude for your priceless friendship. The prospect of being perpetually weary for quite a while to come while we (Mommy, her "trust-her-with-my-life") friend Neam, Sis Di and Uncle Bob and me) take care of Gramma, in her home she loves and will be the only place she will want to live and not give up, is going to be a load. Just got back from Fri. thru tonight, and will be back tomorrow night, so I may be out of the communication business for periods of time beyond what I will enjoy, just so you know. But she's Gramma, and always took care, so what can you do? Besides her antics can be a tremendous source of amusement around which everyone can gather. So before this times out, which it will, I bid you Blessings from Jesus, His Daily Care for all of us, and once again, much gratitude for your building people up. Love, in His Name, The Viking
Gramma in this is a woman who was perfectly sound, until the doctors did a colonoscopy which set her back. The Viking's family is now trying to get her adjusted back home after facility care. It is big effort and it brings my heart to tears that the Viking who is exhausted most weeks takes time to provide a bit of normal world to mine, as several other people do who have sickness, caring for others and enough problems that they do not need an adult me carried around on their hip.
These are the Christians though that bring this blog to you and I owe them for the donations as I could not do it without them as the internet would have been shut off long ago.
For my adventure, TL has not been well with a chronic condition for some time. Our nights together are usually me rubbing TL's back for a few hours each night as the struggle goes on. Two days ago the condition really got bad and it did not get any better after a few hours. Usually I hear from TL, "We don't have insurance", or, "It is too expensive and we can't afford it", but this time TL's throat was so raw from coughing TL could not talk, so I made the appointment for 2:30 that afternoon to see a doctor.
I had to get some things done in town and TL pleaded to let TL go along, which I consented as I would rather have TL along in knowing what was going on than me worrying about things. I figured at least in town with me if things got worse the emergency room was there.
I got things done and TL fell asleep on the way home, so I drove around for a bit more to get TL to rest. By that time it was time for the doctor and away we went to fill out forms, which now are basically, "We won't treat you without insurance", so sign your name in blood LC cause we are coming to kill you if you don't pay."
Yes I have a most friendly medical community here.
It took awhile but the Doc appeared and I was relieved that TL's heart rate was normal, temperature was normal and the TL blood pressure is what most people would kill for in being perfect. It did not take long to diagnose as we had been through this in the metro when as a chemist TL's lungs were burned by chemicals by some idiot bastard at work. TL developed a sensitivity to certain chemicals and one of them is uric acid which animals give off in plumes. Short work is the Doc said to get rid of the animals and TL said that is a last resort.
So we got the expensive meds and TL is not speaking in whispers any more from hamburger throat and we are taking it one day at a time. Doc said that if things do not clear up it will be permanent on the meds.
I am not complaining in this next part as the bionic Viking hauls his ass out to do things just like Richard and Stephanie, Maggie, Paul or hosts of other people do when at times a grave sounds like not such a bad opportunity, but it is as TL said today, "I don't know how you keep things straight in your mind with all you have going on", as I usually just run on mental autopilot, unless it is something like being distracted by TL who said, "Ah LC, there is a car coming you just pulled out in front of".
Most days I ache from the hips down like a I ran 20 miles with a 90 pound pack as I burn in my joints and muscles. I got that baby calf things going on here in feeding hay by fork and mucking around in shit in heavy boots so actually that 90 pound pack would be a welcome change. Bronchial tubes burn from allergies, and I think it is treat to not be eating Advil at two at a pop for a sinus condition of pounding headache and fever with chills. I sort of felt bad as Richard and Stephanie said I didn't sound like me when I answered them one time and that is because feeling like shit tends to take the smart ass out of me.
I play roulette most days too in candida. I need the sugar to get me going, but the corn sugars are the ones which are doing all sorts of perverse things to me like bleeding and swelling. Is sort of remarkable how in will power one can take lethal doses of things for so long to get by for what you lie to yourself will be a better day. Is of course better than just quitting like all the rest of the assjacks in the world.
My main focus is to not makes mistakes in real life, as I can not get hurt as no one will be able to take care of the animals.
It is really a simple mathematical equation in TL matters and I do not. If there is no TL, there is no reason for me to continue. God can always find another popular girl to do this, or He can turn a rock into one as He is God after all.
I accept my victories as they come. I planted 25 strawberry plants and 19 of them were not killed by chickens or shit on by cats. I like baby calf being free as the wind as I let her out in the morning and she is obstinate with an air of royalty. I even like the Puntz in trying to recover from a mite that she lost her hair and the treatment had her shitting in very clever spots like on the bed, but what the hell else is she going to do as she doesn't feel well like most people, so I am not going to chew her ass for that. And Darby the horse is a bit better as I told her she could not just eat fresh grass as it made her joints sore and she was shivering in pain the other day.......and Hannah the cow licks me and Audrey the cow does not try and kill me as I milk these two interesting heifers daily in not listening to the pain.
I tell myself that I get to rest when I am not here in this world. Whether that is an opiate of Karl Marx, I do know it is better than robbing banks or plotting to sell this soul for 30 pieces of silver.
I do know that all the sinners in this world if they had to bust it like I am forced to do, they would not be sinning as they would be too sore to sin and too tired to think about iniquity.
I am watching TL read the Black Stallion as TL wiggles TL's toes. That is entertainment as I type this contemplation in there are not any answers to the human condition. All there is, is a shared experience in the children of God in doing shit things, getting shit on, and clearing out the shit and telling yourself that this turd looks like the Mona Lisa.
TL just warned me that I need to get some sleep and stop pretending I am the Viking. All one can do in this life is the right thing, the good thing, as that is the only thing you have control over in an irresponsible world as you trust in the Lord. It is hard when someone is coughing so hard they puke and all you can do is rub their back.
I have to listen to the TL who must be obeyed and try and get some sleep.
I hope I did not piss the Viking or TL off or the people who are good to me that don't like being mentioned.
Most days for me I am grateful if it is just a bad day and not several catastrophes.
What will we do with a drunken sailor? What will we do with a drunken sailor? What will we do with a drunken sailor? Early in the morning! Way hay and up she...