Sunday, May 13, 2018

The History of the Salad Terror Bomb in America

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

It honestly behooves me to educate you children and brats in the menace of lettuce on the population, as you suckers all think eating that damn cow fodder is a good thing, because the propaganda tells you that. The Lame Cherry is about to educate you, so that just like diamonds are common as coal and you bit on that one to buy them, there was  an entire marketing strategy for those damned leaves.

I was speaking to a most interesting woman in the thrift store who I adore. She is a bright gal, and as we were talking cook books, she said, "Oh I picked one up awhile ago from the 1950's and you know what they were introducing as a novelty, it was salads".

Yes this was a California cook book and the rest of America had no idea what the hell that shit was, as no one with beef steak and piles of hash browns would eat a damn salad. Americans ate manly things like sweet corn and pole beans for vegetables, topped off with a nice 4 inch thick apple pie with ice cream and cheese. No one ate the shit cows ate as it was beneath them.

See you have to know the history in this in salads. See California stole Colorado's water rights and pumped the Colorado River over the Nevada mountains as they needed water. They needed water, because FDR locked up all those Japanese who owned produce farms in the San Joaquin Valley in World War II, and white folks got the land.
So they had the land and the water, but no one was going to eat shitty greens, but asstards in California. Then it hit them, to start telling people lettuce was healthy and good for you, because they paid celebrities to eat that shit and smile, and sold it to the rest of America in cookbooks which started this plague.

I was laughing as she said her daughter lives in Arizona and is always making pretty salads. So she said, "Have you made a cookie salad?", the daughter blinked and was completely blank  on this food group. See in heartland America, people have the sense to not eat those salads yet, and they come up with all kinds of Lutheran ways to get around those things. One such remedy is to crush up Keebler fudge stripe cookies, throw in a load of whipped cream, add pecan nuts and  toss in a few mandarin oranges. Any other place that would be desert, but Lutherans believe such vittles are salads as they say they are salads.
Lutherans are wonderful in their bastardization of things. They can even make Jello into any number of a dozen food groups, including mother's milk.

See salads for Lutherans involve sugar. Like strawberry jello, walnuts, jellied cranberries and some celery to make a slight appearance and that is a salad too. Nom de Deus if you got anything like cabbage, out comes the Mayo and a cup of sugar and that is salad, and lettuce is always covered in sugar too as no one in their right mind would eat it with salad dressing as there is no purpose in that.

So now you know that salads are bad for you, but California millionaire farmers, using stolen Colorado water, schemed to convince the lemmings and bleaters to eat that shit, as that is all they were growing there and they needed some two legged livestock to buy their fodder.

It all makes sense when the Lame Cherry explains things like spinach is what Mexicans fertilize with their own excrement in Mexico and ship to rich people in the metro, if they are not using the leaves to wipe their asses, but that washes off in the big processors filled with germ killing bacteria.

Anyway, that is the history of the salad terror bomb in America. Californians who stole land from Japper Americans and stole water from real Americans in Colorado grew lettuce and told idiots that it was healthy to eat that shit fit for cows and the rest is now 5 dollar bags of cow fodder and you thinking that you are eating healthy because you bought the propaganda.

Put it this way if you knew you were going to die in this was your last meal, would you want to be eating that goddamn leafy shit or something with cookies and whipped cream?

Nuff Said