Friday, May 25, 2018

The Sixth Nipple of Audrey

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

If you asked most people how many tits a cow has, most people would not know, and the rest would answer, FOUR. That is because  America breeding has standardized udders, but this is the story of Audrey, named after Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey decided to calve as a heifer in a snowstorm as all cows do. I had her in the barn, but as all calves do it fell out the door and was laying there trying to die.
Audrey tried to attack me, which was not good, so baby calf came inside to the house, tried to die, got heating pads on it, got doused with warm milk and about 7 hours later started looking like it was not dying.

The thing is I had to milk Audrey who like all cows want no part in this, and that is the first time I noticed something odd about her back right  tit.
I honestly thought she must have stepped on it or cut herself as milk was leaking out of the back of the nipple, but I had snowstorms and a calf trying to die, so that was something for another day.

The next day I milked her, and blew out the longest cork plug I have ever saw in a nipple. Yes nature has cows cork their nipples so the milk will not run out.
Milking went ok and I thought she probably healed up, and then the next day she started leaking again, and that is when I figured out she had a 6th nipple by this 4th rear nipple. This was the first time I had ever witnessed that as most cows like her had a 5th high up on her  back udder which do not have this bred out of them.

I have read the old farm manuals and they say to nip these little nipples off as they just get in the way and cause problems in lessening milk production. As Audrey though was a pasture calf with a cow, I never paid any attention to her special circumstances which are something rare.

I figure the calf will just get it's mouth on both eventually and work it out that way, but that thing trying to milk the 4th nipple is usually leaking so things get slick and I dislike it.

There is nothing I can do about it now, as am not cutting on a cow's bag as that is not proper and would be a major surgery. Is just one of those rare  things. The fact is though cows from the forests of Europe used to have 5 to 7 nipples. I have no idea why as history records nothing of these short nipples ever having any use or purpose as calves never touch them and this one must have like a tablespoon of milk in it.

Is just one of those odd things as her history should be all confirmation in the udders in being Galloway, Hereford, Simmetal, Shorthorn and a touch of Angus maybe too. Why she threw back is a mystery but I noticed her calf has the same protrusion so it is a strong genetic trait.

The old farmers just nipped them off to make things nice appearing and to not get in the way of sucking or milking.....every drop counts when  it is not a milk truck Holstein as in the modern age.

Is just one of those things and while I doubt the original Audrey had any additional nipples, I never showered with her at the convent or had associations with her ghastly husband, Mel Ferrer. That woman had more problems with men in that drunk William Holden, then she went back to that Mel thing. If only she had been with Jose she would have been thrilled her whole life, whether she had 2 nipple or five.

That is about all there is to write about this most informative post.