Thursday, May 10, 2018

Them Hogotes

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

This post is about my mistake in a future post about a post concerning apples, but  I mentioned peaches, but neglected to mention Georgia peaches of which I was reminded by Richard and Stephanie, concerning their production in Georgia, which is really remiss on my part as Archer is funded by the State of Georgia and it is all about peaches.

This though is about a mailing I receive from time to time for some reason and this installment was about hog hunting in Georgia, but not just hogs, it was about coyotes. I never knew that Georgians were westerners, but there in bold print was the term YOTES for coyotes.
I admire that greatly as I used to listen to this fat blonde Minnesotan, who thought she was Miss America, talk about KI YO TEE all the time.
Anyone knows that you never calls yotes that. They are either KI yotes or Yotes. You start using KI YO TEE in respectable parts of the gunning world and you will get beat up and your beer dumped on you. Nothing says asstard up the badger hole worse than saying KI YO TEE.

I was in heaven though, hog heaven as they were in Georgia State Government talking about killing them vermin with extreme prejudice, like yotes, and the game people at the capital were all excited about the bloodletting.
Georgians just rose in the rankings as you got to love a people that kill vermin with an attitude.

The South is such an inviting place, but our mutual brother in law has not invited us, even if they are a hunting clan for some of that hog and quail hunting. I am open to drinking other clans beer, eating their beasty food and sleeping in a bug free bed that still has DDT residue in it.

It must be an easy thing where everyone is named Beauregard, have a pack of dogs all named Rhett, have at least a half dozen Confederate flags available and possess Bean Field Rifles.
That would be BFR, but not a Georgia gun, as those are Carolina rifles. For some reason Carolina has big ass bean fields, where people sit in stands at lightning strike heights.
See in Carolina they shoot deer further than the horizon sets on the horizon. I am not into that Weatherby or Magnum stuff with belts on them, as I would be fine with a 270 to converse with venison. Those 7mm rounds reach out and communicate. Yes what could be finer than to be in Caroliner in bean fields in the morning.
I read once in Alabama that big hound handlers named Buford threaten to beat you up if you do not shoot every deer for the boss man's table that comes by. A hunter once could shoot a deer every day. That was quite a feat with cheap ammo, now it would bankrupt you as 25 bucks for 20 deer would be like a Franklin bill to shoot 80 deer. At 40 pounds boned on a deer that is like 800 pounds of deer for like 12.5 cents a pound.  Sure that sounds cheap, but that would blow the budget in shipping it back home.

I had a neighbor who went hog hunting in the South. Rode a hog down there. Could not see riding a motorcycle someplace for days to get ticks and shoot a pig and then have to ride back home with only that to eat.

Anyway I like Georgians in blasting pigs and yotes, for a Hogotes hunting extravaganza. The kids take to it like most kids take to smart phones. Nothing like a Poland China wild pig to produce the ham and bacon for numerous feasts.

What I noted what Georgia actually has some good long hair fur. Damn you get into Minnesota and them dark forest areas and the yotes are damn  grubby things the color of puking up chicken shit vomit. Georgia does the pales well,  almost looking like a Montana quality pelt.
On second look, not that great, but a good use of bullets as the only good yote is a dead dozen yotes.

I always heard that one of the best sports down South was Bayou Skiing. See you get a Yankee, and pull him behind the duck boat through the swamp and you shoot the big ole alligators who come out to eat the Yank.


I have such a dream, of one day buying some backwoods  thing, without the trees, except in a gully, and it don't look like much, but as I open the chests it is full of guns, traps and booze. In an amazing extra, my foot breaks through the floor and it is filled with Jesse James gold. Top it off in this wonderful Irish Setter saunters up, and I keep her and we go off and shoot piles of birds for the years fair and of course an elk too as Irish Setters just love for me to shoot elk.
I read that West Virginia is getting elk, imported from Ohio the last bunch. What a fine thing that would be. They need some buffalo too to please the hunters as I am sure the hollar dwellers would benefit from that activity too.

What a wonderful May it would be to be in Georgia now that May is here and the opportunity arises to dispense lead to yotes and hogs.

Such is heaven.

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