Monday, May 31, 2021

A Wrench by any other Name


As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

It has been a most trying woke day for me. I now feel a gendership with Greta Thunberg and the devastating beautiful, Jen Psaki, the second most attractive woman in DC, when I received this note from DC.

Happy Memorial Day LC and TL. Nice truck. Nice trees. The wrench not so nice but functional lol. God bless LC and TL in these trying times. I pray that all Gods children find His mercy and His protection. In Jesus name Amen

I have been devastated by this, I crawled out of bed and am typing with just one digit. I can barely keep from falling asleep as I have been so overwhelmed in my wrench has been degraded from the most wonderful creation an arc welder ever produced to the definition not so nice.

I must share on my secret Twister message account, the numbers of messages of support.

General Mike Flynn wrote:

Burma went military coup for less. Let me know if I can bring down a government or start a nuclear war to support you.

Donald Trump wrote

This is the greatest wrench hunt in history!

Ivanka Futurus wrote 

I must say if I was a wrench I would look like your 9/16ths.

Christopher Wray

The FBI is at your disposal once we complete arresting everyone.

Finally, Kamala Harris wrote

When we overthrow American completely, it will be your beautiful  wrench and my fist on our Marxist flag and not the hammer and sickle.

Such wonderful support in my trial of hours in being wrench shamed like sister Greta was fat shamed for being a fatty, has meant a great deal, but my wrench has been scheduled for psychiatric counselling as it has lost all self esteem to pose in Wrenchboy as the July Centerfold.

Hollywood has offered a television series, mini series, docudrama, documentary and movie. I have been told that Ringo Star and Sir Paul, have offered to reunite the Fab Four, by reanimating John and the other guy, with a special  album featuring the new songs:

I want to hold your Wrench

She's got a ticket to Wrench

Wrench Jude

and there are more and even if they sound like the originals, I have been assured that these are all new releases.

Queen Elizabeth sent me this special dispatch -

To Lame Cherry stop

Now that I'm a widow stop

Willing to marry your Wrench stop

Can your wrench fix Harry? stop

Let me know ASAP stop

Your friend, Liz stop

I have considered a vendetta as I just read of it, but I'm not Sicilian and I think my wrench is Chromium, which is a nationality I'm not familiar with, but Billy Joel sang of Chromium Steel, so I think that is Georgian as Joe Stalin was Joe Steel, so I think my wrench is Russian.

In that I'm really concerned as the Russians are monitoring the hunting down of Americans by the FBI. What will Moscow do in defense of this wrench, as they annexed Crimea for a few Russians there, so what will they do for the most glorious wrench ever welded?

I have heard that my wrench like the Virgin Mary has been suffering stigmata and things like raising the dead, levitating and these revelations have reached Melania Trump and she has contacted my people in requesting a pilgrimage to the Brier Patch to offer prayers, petitions, offerings and visit the stations of the cut, the weld and the glorious resurrection from the slag, when all that was left was the robe and head cloth of my wrench.

This is all just cascading, avalanching and tidal waving. I have heard that Wormwood has veered off course due to the brilliance of this wrench.  There is talk of a Noble Prize to this wrench for world peace as Birther Hussein was awarded.

Politically, the wrench as it is being called, is being given citizenship, voting rights, but it is refusing to take the vax. 

I have even been told that the pope is offering sainthood and is about to abdicate so the Bishops can vote on making the wrench the next Pater of Rome. This is complex as Pedo Joe Biden has offered to resign the White House to the wrench can be the next President. Everyone is offering  things, proposals of marriage and of course the new name for babies across the globe is Wrench. There is even a law being proposed that no one can name their children Wrench, because soon everyone will be named Wrench and it will be confusing.

I confess that my wrench hangs like the Star of Bethlehem over the door on a hook. We have not had to put the lights on as it illuminates the house. Sometimes I have to wear sunglasses at night to just sleep.

With that I must sleep as my wrench will comfort me as most people do not know that a wrench is warm like a blanket and soft like a teddy bear.  Wrenches are such miracles and someone said that even the anti Christ is fading as this wrench is such a powerful force of nature.

It is a good thing that I did not try and weld strawberry twizzlers as there is no telling the heights a twizzler would have arisen to.

Dec 25, 2009 ... REMASTERED IN HD!Best of Scorpions: here: ... Scorpions - Wrench You Like A Hurricane (Official Music Video).

Nuff Said