A friend shared with me this photo from a New York publication concerning once again Muchelle Obama. While I am not going to waste a great deal of time on her, I was once again fascinated by the Obamalings who were leaving comments in New York and compliments for this "thing" Muchelle was floating around in.
One of the maniacs thought Muchelle was "adorable in not knowing where to stand".
My first thought was of those grates which Marilyn Monroe made sensual in blowing air underneath her skirt in a sexy and fun way that sold the idea. The thought though of the package and large ass under Muchelle's dress made me cringe.
I can not fathom why any woman in a position of leadership would show up anywhere in public dressed like kunta kintee's wife off the slave boat. This is not the Flintstones in fake leopard print design.
One just does not embarrass a nation nor one's husband by showing up at any event looking like a tawdry, cheap, lewd cow with more print fabric than sense.
The maniacs though made excuses in New York for this attire. Some said she was at some botanical event..........should we be thankful she didn't dress as Eve with fig leaf print costume then?
Others said she was out of season.............I do not know if that meant this was a safari type situation where the hunting season for leopard print had switched to Canadian fur seal or if the woman who can not get her arms naked enough should have been covered. (Yeah I know it was the latter, but I have to question Muchelle's psychology as there is a profound reason she must cast off covering attire on her arms as it deep down means she is feeling hemmed in in life. Dr. Freud is calling.)
One person did note that Muchelle could get better pantyhose. I though was more concerned with the beige shoes which glow like beige beacons in not matching that horrid off color of her dress.
Apparently having a crush on bondage belts, Muchelle switched to a pearl necklace or the mother of all pearl necklaces. No doubt it is something she had found at Walmart as her husband is too busy giving pearl necklaces to Reggie Love, in between flossing, and trying to give one via mail to his old white socialite flame, which husband Obama has been stalking.
Her hair is.........well when she pulls her hair back all you see is horse face jawline, so unless she goes whole hog African Mooselum and puts on a veil........not much one can do with the nag face.
I would though spring for a nice black silk veil for Muchelle, China silk in season from the choicest mulberry diet for the worms, and a slight gold chain to hold it in place as Muchelle can not even make gold look bad.........unless she arrives tomorrow in a spandex glitter gold shorts, God forbid.
There are so many delusional people who with so much unction want Muchelle to be something to prove these maniacs have not wasted their votes upon the Obama duo, but it just goes too far in trying to compliment this woman as she has no idea how to stand, no idea how to be a woman and no idea how to present herself.
Granted Carla Sarkozy, unlike the New York publication who just listed her without her husband's name, and him standing right there, is once again photo perfect in her presentation. This is who a first lady is to dress, stand, smile and present herself.
She is not to be standing around with her legs spread like someone who has been carrying pickle barrels from the market between her legs.
In noting that with too much information, one would think that after two babies Muchelle would have her legs together as after pregnancy women leak urine easily as Tina Fey likes to joke about on Letterman in cocktail crowd humor, but Mrs. Obama is just apparently not a gusher.
Apparently with that big vulva she likes being pictured with she just sneezed and the kids came out like a fly ball at Letterman stadium.
I would have suggested that Mrs. Sarkozy find a black leather handbag, but then she is probably carrying France's nuclear codes in the bag for Nic, so I will cut her some slack as she can make a barrel look lovely and make one study her cute little shoes with little poofy black pompoms on them, which is the design so she catches you looking at her legs.
Sneaky lady this Mrs. Sarkozy.
Nic as usual looks dapper. Somehow this short guy has it all to attract hot chics and keep them. He looks good fishing and looks good stringing up French opponents in court and looks good even beside Obama.
Bearick..........well at least he stopped masturbating with his eyes when Mrs. Sarkozy is around and appears back to his man crush on President Sarkozy, which one can understand as he is so charismatic chic.
Muchelle though is what liberals want attention on and she has it, being the giant on stage, dressed like an African safari hide.
In order to assist though Mrs. Obama, again and again, this blog will note 10 things Mrs. Obama can do.
1. Keep your legs together Muchelle. If you have problems with this, you can do like Mrs. Sarkozy and purchase a slim cut dress which will keep your legs together.
2. Look before one leaps. One does this by standing, posing regal and then thinking with the organ between one's ears, processes "is this a good idea" and then one takes a step by pointing one's toe in that direction.
3. Leave the high heals to the petite women. No one wants to look up your nose Muchelle.
4. Find female jewelry which is not as large as towing chains or cut like a car tire.
5. No one wants to see your saggy breasts in any form which includes your Amazon bare arms which call attention those dry udders. Cover your shoulders and buy a nice bra to give you definition for your B cup.
6. Find a nice deep red lipstick and gloss in on thinly, to make your lips appear smaller, accent your eyes with longer lashes all to keep attention form your horse face jawline. Stop accenting your cheek bones as you have too much face going on as it only makes you look more like Mrs. Ed.
7. You are now almost 50. You are not Diana Ross with the Supremes with bangs that need traffic control. Either grow your hair long or find a stylist who can present a style of covering your ears as you have too much face and giving it a bigger billboard leaves no vanishing point, and only more of you.
8. Buy an industrial strength girdle and live in it.
9. Stay with black and white, and no I do not mean zebra stripes. Your colors are not green, yellow, purple, Kwanza prints, orange, red or brown. There is too much of you, so hide it with long sleeves and dresses to make you appear slimmer.
10. Stop trying to be white even if you are half white and your entire social clique are all tanner than most white people. You look silly trying to be Michael Jackson.
Follow these rules Muchelle and hopefully you will disappear into the woodwork is where Americans like first ladies to be, seen sometimes in a photo op, never heard from and not acting like Jackie Kennedy.
Oh and one more thing, stop trying to be pictured with models who were size 1 dresses. Unless you get a life size picture of Eleanor Roosevelt who was not an attractive woman, just sort find things to hide behind when the thin good looking French women are on stage.
Note to self* Sarah Palin's husband would make a more attractive first lady.
agtG
