The Chuck
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
This is the last of the bad movie reviews, well there will be hopefully a composite of the all in the cons and cons of them, but this is the last of them in Silent Rage starring Chuck Norris.
Sicko lunatic Stephen Colbert fan
This has to be the strangest movie before Sharktopussy that was ever made. The movie is about Chuck who is sheriff of a small town, where apparently secret experiments are being conducted on insane people, who of course go insane, meaning one insane guy, who Chuck beats up, the cops kill, the doctor pumps full of bug juice to make him immortal, and insane go out and murders more people.
I will tell the ending as no one is going to watch this, as Chuck battles the immortal, he kills him a few more times, but he keeps coming back to life, so Chuck throws him down a well, and the thing is still alive and the show ends.
I call this the Norris Castration Kick!!!
This movie is like it can not make up it's mind in what it is or more to the point it is a bad horror movie that they put Chuck Norris in to watch him kick people, mixed with tits.
There are some scenes like Chuck being intimate with a fat man. I think this is the guy from Animal House who says, "The Negroes stole our dates".
Chuck I think I'd rather die than do mouth to mouth.
Ron Silver who I really like as an actor, must have needed a paycheck as he hangs around with nothing to do until he gets sort of homosexually wrestled to death by the lunatic.
Show your tits to Chuck sister as I promised him
As stated this move is about tits. Ron Silver's sister shows her tits, Chuck shows his tits a great deal as a sponge dong for fat ugly women to masturbate to, and Chuck's brother, Aaron, gets cam time in bathing his face in a girls body who is on a biker bar, bar, slobbering all over her.
That must have been his extra in being Chuck's bro.
I will say that Chuck does his best acting in this one, like Walker Texas Ranger. Those early movies of Chuck made Jean Claude Van Damme look Shakespearean, but he does ok as being pussy candy and not looking awkward. There was not enough fighting going on though, but that is made up for Chuck rolling around with women in bed and I think 7 nipples appearing on screen, including two from Chuck.
I think this movie would have been helped if it was in German. I found this cover for Silent Rage in German, and even the pictures are better than the movie. Things in German just look better.
My nips are nuclear armed in my kung fu missile punk!!!
See this movie should have been called Raging Breasts, great name for a movie and it really kicks ass in German too, Wütende Brüste!!!
But that is all in the past and they did not make a sequel in the zombie coming out of the well when some thirsty girl decided she needed to wet down her boobies on a hot day.
I wonder if Chuck got to choose the breasts on display from the women as they were perfect, or if Chuck had to stand there and be compared too as his brother Aaron was doing the feel test on Chuck and the women auditioning.
Any way that is about all I can milk out of this bad movie for filler. When you have Ron Silver not doing anything, Chuck as pussy candy, a few boobs and only one fight scene, it is hard to make a good movie even with Aaron Norris' tongue licking the whiskey skin off a biker whore.
.......and now for something complete different
agtG
