Here have some Jello, it will save you
But don't eat too much as gluttons go to hell
and if you only eat the pretty deserts you will go to hell for that too
As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
This post is for me, and if you do not get it, that is too bad, but it reveals your ignorance of the White Race in America in it's many flourishing aspects and nuances of beauty and grandeur, in the people that you have allowed to be raped soulfully for over a generation, and they never fought back, except by the ballot box in trusting treacherous politicians or by changing the channel.
The Viking will get parts of this, as he is one of Dem Luthrans, because this is about Lutherans in the blue haired, thin as rails and fat as prize heifer Nordic and German women I grew up with, whose main purpose in life was silence, showing no emotion, except for that constant glare at children judging them as all works of satan who need a twenty four spanking followed by six days of pulling weeds in 100 degree heat to put some Christian into them.
Lutherans are an interesting breed, in their women all live in the Church basement, suffering in funerals and dinners, where the main food groups are coffee with nothing in it as it would be sinful to drink coffee with cream or sugar in it as that is extravagant, some kind of noodle with the main food group of cream of something soup, and the thing that runs through Lutheran's veins thicker than the blood of Christ, in being strawberry jello, but no fruit as fruit stays at home, and you just get the jello at Church.
The following is from a book I somehow found in a thrift store laying there with recipes of Dem Luthrans and other sayings they never say, as they never talk, but just communicate a million words in one glare.
See I grew up with the real Lutherans, according to the real Lutherans, in the German Missouri Synod Lutherans were real, and it was those other Lutherans, known as Dem Lutherans, who were known by various names like Norwegian Lutherans, American Lutherans and them which brought along a message of Yes they were Lutherans, but sort of like Lutherans of a lesser Luther. Of course you never told Dem Lutherans that, as that would be impolite and it was none of your business if handicapped Lutherans existed, because they could not help being born Scandinavian, as while you would never marry one, work with one threshing or eat with one, you might be polite in talking to one, have coffee with one, or pull one out of a burning barn, as that would be the Christian thing to do.
This is a list of things Norwegian Lutheran women think, when they are stuck in those hot, sticky, cool, suffocating basements, waiting for the people upstairs having fun at the funeral, to come down and be served for the next 2 hours, while you then went home to your family who were making comments about why they had to eat funeral food at dinner and at supper.
If you are wondering what a German Lutheran thinks in the basement, it is the same thing as they are the same critter. Only difference is one, thinks about Dem Luthrans and the other thinks about Dose Luthrans.
Before reading the list below, please note that the one fear a Lutheran woman has, is to get a phone call, to which she hears, "You are scheduled to work at the funeral............"
1. That is the 4th time she has used that excuse to get out of work.
2. They are dying like flies around here. If I have to bring another cake, I am going to scream!
3. Don't call me for anything. I will not do it.
4. Get some of the younger ones to do it.
5. If we run out, too bad!
6. I don't want to hear your complaints. I got enough of my own.
7. Tell the family to cater it!
8. It's about time we started using paper cups.
9. She hasn't been in Church for ages, but shows up for the banquet.
10. I don't know how she dares to ask me to serve.
11. We are not in a restaurant for crying out loud!
12. I can't work. (no explanation)
13. Who does she think she is anyway.
14. What do we pay a janitor for anyway.
15. I haven't seen that pastor's wife get her hands in a sink of water.
16. Nobody needs a big meal for a 3 o'clock funeral. Sandwiches will do just fine.
17. Life's not a bowl of cherries for anyone.
18. She isn't the only one who has other things to do.
19. Let's keep it simple.
20. Why do Lutherans think they have to eat every time they go to Church?
Now a good Lutheran woman, whatever the tribe, would never say these things out loud. Doing so, even noticing that the pastors wife never appears in the basement, or anywhere else, except for that hour on Sunday, is sure to bring the stern look of the pastor, then the stern look of the other women, who of course are thinking the same thing, and the stern look of the husband, as she is forever known as that woman who is going to super hell, for not loving being tortured in a basement every time someone dies or gets married.
The thing is, I noticed in that recipe book a most peculiar recipe of great honor that the Norwegian or American Lutherans served, especially to impress the Germans, or Dose Luthrans.
It was Braunschweiger Filling.
1/2 pound of Braunschweiger liver sausage
1/2 cup pickled sweet relish
6 tablespoons salad dressing
This is for buns, and the Norwegians noted that their own children would not eat the stuff, and were told to eat it or go hungry. The Norwegians report that the Missouri Synod Lutherans felt welcome in the "other" Lutheran Churches when served this.....
I think the Germans sort of felt sorry that the Norwegians only had this to serve, and never stopped talking about that stuff Dem Lutherans fed them, when they went over to the neighbor's funeral.
It would be news to all those dead Germans of a generation ago that they were being honored with liver meat on a bun. I guess it never mattered as there was always jello to at least make it seem like it was worth going.
Most of you reading this have absolutely no idea the ethnic rivalry, division and segregation which was America and in some parts still is America in the rural locations. You never heard of it, as it was accepted for what it was, as everyone was that way. Lord God, you could be having the nicest time with some Germans and Norwegians, and a new person would show up, you would recognize the name as from your tribe, and then out would come the bomb that they were Catholics. Then it all got polite smiles, shut down, and those old instincts took over in the Pope's armies marching in and killing them Lutherans, and in that moment it was just Lutherans, and not any Dem and Dose Lutherans.
People got along though, even with the Catholics, because you had to. You just never married one, never worked with one, never talked with one, but would pull one out of the crick if they fell in, as it was the Christian thing to do.
I do miss those repressive old biddies with faces like statues, who just made you know God had a lightning bolt of a sodom brimstone to kill you for acting out, but you still acted out anyway most times, and figured the guilt from those old women glaring at you meant you got away with nothing, even if you told your parents some far fetched tale they never believed, but were just too exhausted from beating your butt for the past two hours for something else they just discovered about their saintly children.
Church was punishment. It was hot, It was suffocating and it was a misery inflicted upon everyone, for their being too human the past week, in politely lying to everyone in the community, so you never offended anyone.
That is the saga of the Lutherans in America, who don't recognize the sodomites and girl preachers in the pulpit and this demographic of tan skin tokens grinning like organ grinder monkeys from the covers of magazines the synods produce when none of them people ever show up in pews, unless you are in California, and who the hell wants to be in a California church, as them people are all going to hell anyway, as they got some foreign Lutheranness there, and it is not like the Lutherans who just got liberated from jello and noodles to bars and buns........about twenty year ago.
Nuff Said
agtG
