As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
This is for those who desired to become part of the Lame Cherry extended family upon the death of mom. I wanted to share more of the experience in the best way I can her, to help you, and in goodness to help even those who lurk here and think it is without consequences.
For those who read the eulogy, it went wonderfully well. As a writer, I knew the Holy Ghost was generating in me, and I knew the hodgepodge them of the way I construct this blog to communicate and God tying it all up at the end, would be the same Lame Cherry attention getter, and it was as revealing details that people do not know, make them pay attention and feel like insiders and when you wrap it up with the Lord's Prayer, you have everyone contributing something.
I received some very nice comments, as I never wanted to be funeral director, but this had to be done right for the correct effect, and it was as intended.
Even at bare bone at 7000 dollars in a quick burial, that is about what it is. The funeral home costs were about 2900 dollars, and the vault, casket (the cheapest they had), digging, death certificates, taxes.....yes we got taxed on this with sales tax mounts up.
In reviewing this, I do not even see with cremation how you can cut costs, but by a thousand dollars, unless you can cut out the undertaker, but the body still has to be transported, and burned up, and unless you want Gramma with her curlers in her hair, laying naked on the slab, till incinerated, you have to pay for it.
We dressed mom in a black dress pants, black jacket and I found a pretty black sweater with colorful dots on it, white shoes and black socks. I say we, but the undertaker dressed her.
He also laundered her clothes and told me at the burial that he kept her hat on her, and she was being buried in it. It was a warm little hat I had found in the thrift store like my madboober, and I laughed, because it was fitting for her, and he must have had a touch of sentimental in that tiny woman for taking that liberty to "keep her head warm".
It was cold, arctic cold. I was dressed for it, and was ok, except my head, but I still am fighting off that Mexican flu which all this drama on the day she died had it reappear.
I think about 30 people came, close family was all that was there, and that is the way we wanted it. A few of them could have stayed away, but it is what it was, and my brother said right afterwards, "You know that is the way to do it. Not that bawling in church, being tortured to sing songs, and going through all of that.
We arrived there about 20 to two, and most people were there by ten to two, and when we pulled out of the cementary, it had taken 30 minutes. My part was short, I didn't get to help load the casket onto the lowering platform, as I had to make room so mom's sister and another old aunt could be driven up to hear the service.
It went so well, that I did get sad. I believe mom was there when I asked in inquiry and liked it, but I was sad because as I looked around, I thought "Mom would have really enjoyed this".
We sort of crashed a Hardees and took it over, and then people could have coffee, tea or whatever they paid for. It was no hassle or clean up, and the one nice gal took pictures of us as it probably is the last time we are ever going to ever be together again, as once parents are gone, none of the grandkids or kids always make it to the funeral. It was the closing of a book on our family.
I am not going to focus on the bad things, because it they did not matter. It was pleasant thing, and when I heard people laughing in the cementary, I knew the eulogy had worked as it allowed the tears and then the sending them off to life again.
It was hard seeing the casket lowered. My cousin brought a bouquet of rose which laid on top of the casket which I could not afford. It was very thoughtful, but knowing that little squirt was in that brown casket, with roses on top which she liked, and had the boober hat on, and I had to leave her there until resurrection, made it hard as it was final, and yes now that everyone has gone home, in my brother left, and it is just TL and myself, and I have to do the legal and technical stuff, which I intend to publish here to help people to be aware of what is coming for them, the reality of mom not being here and catching myself with, "Better check if she had to go to the bathroom", is something which will be less of as time goes on.
It is peaceful here on her place with just TL and I here. The hard buzz of that little tough stubborn woman is gone. She was here two nights ago, in I felt her and so did TL. She was displeased in what I was writing about her to Richard and Stephanie, in it is the person she was not the person she is. But while I did not feel her at the funeral, inquiry said she was there, so I expect she is back in Heaven, and I hope she stays there. I hope she is praying for some rich people to be generous and God touches their heart to donate in the big numbers as I did not expect my poor brother to try and kick in, but my one sister never said a word and the other said about not expecting me to pay for everything, and when I said the price, that conversation stopped as I suspected it would. As in most case, talk is cheap and people are cheaper.
If you can handle the necessity of doing everything or having some siblings who are responsible, I do recommend this quick burial by the graveside, as I thought I would be a trend setter, and by people's reactions, they did like it. Being out in the open air, with people who want to be there, making a good memory and then going to some place big enough to talk about things is really about the cheapest thing you could do. The Cherry clan is not known for being quiet and we were quite loud, but it did seem the old people who were in there, were smiling as we took pictures as they had something going on and were part of that joy. Odd thing for a funeral, but people will grieve in quiet, and no one wanted to be tortured in another funeral of being suffocated by stale air, dust and sweet flowers.
I just sighed and looked off into space in thinking if I forgot anything. If I did I will mention it sometime, but I will not focus on the regrets in people not being better to her, and thinking how much I know she would have liked that gathering.
I now have to close this out, as it is like 5 degrees out, and I have to stop at the bank, the lawyer, get some gas, and go make condolensce call on mom's side of the family as I could not get ahold of them, was forced to leave a message, as I was not about to tell her sister who has health issues news like that and give her a heart attack. That of course was taken care of by another person I had called and she called up, expressing her sympathies. I mean Geez Louise, I had done all I could to protect mom's sister and then that happens.
Anyway I have to post this, and get to town and home again, as Baby Moo was crying last night for her bucket of milk as we got home late at 6 o'clock in the dark.
I will try to do more on this as I get things sorted out, but I get the same emotions of numb, anger, sadness, being glad it is over and being pleased things went well by God's Grace. Sadness and joy do not fit well in the same heart, nor does guilt and relief. There is enough strain in trying to get all the government stuff sorted out, with insurance being cancelled and being told Social Security is having technical difficulties to add to all of this, but it is what it is and everyone has to go through all of this sometime, so perhaps for awhile, the theme of the blog will be personal events and educating you, intead of anti Christ and Trump WWE, as that is stuff no one can do anything about, but what is normal is the stuff I am dealing with now.
God bless to the extended Lame Cherry family. Thank you for your memorials and kind words.
agtG
