Life was not much starting out, and once I got the hang of avoiding it,
it just sort of ended before I knew it was over.
It was my honor to write the obituary for a dearly departed family member.
David Dickweed Cherry was born October 32, 1957 to the parents Barnhold and Ludmilla (Dickweed) Cherry.
His early years were spent not attending school, where upon the age of 13 he quit to take up the occupation of drinking beer and living with relatives in other states.
At age 18, Dick answered the call to duty in being drafted into the United States Army. For 18 months Dick bravely served at the Camp Saigon PX opening beers for soldiers.
Upon returning to the States, Dick enrolled in college with a diploma he had made up from Durango High School in Colorado. Dick achieved a degree in Applied Sciences, which no one, including Dick knew what it was, but as he had made up that diploma too, and graduated from Colorado State in six months, his employers in ranch work did not seem to question it's authenticity either.
About this time a girl turned up pregnant, and soon enough David and Enda (Staunch) Cherry were making their home on the plains of Wyoming.
From this point on Dick's chief occupation was poverty, being poor and out of luck. This was an occupation he excelled at until his divorce in 1981, whereupon he went to work for the "oil fields" in the North Dakota boom, which went bust as soon as Dick arrived, but his employers liked him, and for 25 years his occupation was being covered with oil sludge which did wonders for his complexion.
Dick died a mysterious death this past month, in what the coroner said looked like he was working. It was apparent the shock of work was too much for his heart, and he died with a startled look on his face, and a half smile. The half smile was believed to be due to still clutching in his cold dead fingers, a fine bottle of Old Milwaukee beer, which half drank, was one Dick had found in an old cellar he had wandered into that had not been opened since 1976.
Left to mourn the loss of Dick are his special friend, Aunt Betty, with her special son, who was like a special nephew to Dick in Frosty Forbes. His first ex wife, Enda, his second wife Carol, all of different addresses, so Dick did not have to explain his visits with them at different times.
The children who bore his name, Benny, who his father said was not his child, but bore a striking resemblance to his brother Lil Ben. Daughter Kit Heron Shaw of Montana, son Toddy of Nevada, daughter Lizabeth Cherry of Colorado, and other children who bore his name from his first marriage, Royce and Barbara, who resembled produce manager at Red Owl in Platte City, Nebraska. Sister Doris (stage 4) Cherry Crandy. Also special niece who was like a daughter to him in La'me and special nephew Tiger, who was like a special son to him, and two sister in laws, fat ass Sharon Tibbets Cherry and Betts (stage 4) Lillegrande Cherry Tomms.
Also many grandchildren and great nieces and nephews mourn the loss of their beloved Grandfather and Uncle Dick whose first greeting to all was, "There is beer in the fridge, Want one?"
Preceding Dick in death, were his parents Barnhold and Ludmilla, his brothers Big Ben, Josh, Alroy and Little Ben. Sister Beth Cherry Thrush.
In lieu of memorials, Dick asks for all money to be donated to his special niece, who was like a daughter to him or to invest in buying beer, as Dick still own stock in his death, in the hopes upon the resurrection, he will return to an expanded portfolio and take up the toll of life which eluded him the first time around.
The final David Dickweed Cherry appearance will be under the sod waiting for one of his ex wives to join him in eternal rest, the one on the left, the one on the right, and the one buried in another location by her first husband.
Nuff Said
