Just like Gramma used to wear...
So I am like in the House of Carrion, that is the store between the Thrift Store and the Do It Yourself Mortuary. I like HoC, because you get hot buys in there, literally.
You have heard of, "Died with their boots on?" Well the Do It Yourself Mortuary, pulls the boots off, tosses them in the recycle bin, and HoC toe tags them with a mark up for charity, and when the boots cool off, they end up at the Thrift Store.
Strangely enough, there is not a mark up for new boots at HoC or for them still being warm. It seems if they age a bit and cool off that the Thrift has a bit more of a price on them, as Mexicans are feared of the dead.
Mexicans must be feared of hunting boots too, as HoC had a pair of Wolverine Golden Retriever, 9 inch, 600 Thinsulate boots on display, and when I picked them up, hot off the corpse, they were tagged 5 dollars.
I looked them over, and they puzzled me, as the souls were brand new, the interior looked new, but the laces were wore out and the leather looked to have wear. I have no idea how Gramma selective wore her boots out, unless she had an ATV and was driving around in tall grass which kept rubbing on the leather, leaving the rest looking new.
Gramma must have been a real Radar O'Reilly go getter on an ATV by the looks of the boots, but even go getter Gramma's go tits pointed to the sky on the last flight of grouse.
I tired them on, all nice an warm feeling and they fit pretty good as Gram had an extra large foot. She probably dressed out at 220, so that helps stretch the boots out. I got them as I figured I could not go wrong with them, and got them home, waded through some cow shit to break them in.
(No that is not on purpose, but for some reason if you have a new carrion pair of boots, sure as shit stinks, you are going to step in cat, chicken or cow shit, and sure as shit stings, I lit both feet into cow shit, as that is what I was chasing.)
So my new cadaver boots, got cow shit on them, and when we tried to walk them off on the road, gravel got into the German hobnail boots, so now I got gravel shit on my boots, and they are sitting in the porch.
The only thing I got a problem with is the socks I got on. I got creepy feeling about wearing socks that were in dead Gram boots. Is just something I don't like thinking about after the fact, and I can hardly wait to get these socks off to get that corpse situation aired off.
I probably know the person as I read the obits in who died, and people always are getting rid of things they don't want when they have money as rich people don't like wearing dead people things. I do it all the time and you get used to it. But for Mexicans who will fuck anything, they just have problems with wearing dead people things.
I saw one today, a pushy bitch who was trying on clothes. She had them on the floor and they were spilling out into the aisle. She was really going at it and you can always tell when the Beaners have been around, as shit is always scattered on the floor. Now having seen Latins picking boogers, drooling and other things on the floor, there ain't no way in hell I am putting on something that has been on the floor after webacks come through. Makes you realize what kind of shit hole Mexicans exist in. Probably do drink out of the toilet and wash their dishes in it.
Not me though, I am a higher primate, I wear hot off the corpse dead cadaver clothes. It is amazing the numbers of perfumes and laundry softeners out there. Then again, my coat smells like cat piss as Poot pissed on that last year, marking territory. That cat will be snuffing and pissing on those boots too as Poot does not fear dead people, she just don't like other things smelling up her house.
Oh, I looked up the boots, and they are 155 dollars. No way in hell would I spend 155 dollars on a pair of shoes and that is s definite answer. I get them off the hot dead bodies though and that is what makes this all affordable for me, as I wait for rich people to show some Christian charity and start donating in the kinds of money they blow on themselves every month. I still ain't going to be spending 150 dollars on a pair of boots in big donations, but I sure could get some land or fix a roof.
I sometimes do inventory t o see what I have on, and sure enough they are all dead people discards to the last stitch. Probably have Grams socks on too as they showed up a few weeks ago, and it takes time to sort some items out.
I am willing to bet that not one of you is wearing one item of the dead as you read this, and I bet this blog none of you have on fresh hot off the cadaver items on, as not many people venture into the hinterlands of shopping as people do not donate to your blog.
Of course, I should be like the gal who stopped us last week, and was rattling on about the good deals, of things not even marked out back of the Thrift Store that they throw away. I did not have the heart to tell this half wit, that those were the items just dropped off and had not been brought in yet.
She did have some nice Correlware though, but that was not fresh off the corpse. Not like my boots as some people die with their boots on, and some people walk away with the dead person's warm boots on.
I happen to be the latter.
Time to get those hot socks off, as that is just creeping me out.
Once again, another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
I do all my shoppin' at Boot Hill Boutique in size 45 Colt
Nuff Said
agtG
