Vladimir is Dead

 

“I dream that Russian soldiers will wash their boots in the warm waters of the Indian Ocean and switched to summer uniforms for good."

As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.

Russia has lost one of it's most Bob Dornan patriots in Vladimir Zhirinovsky. I believe my favorite Zhirinsovsky moment was when Playboy sent Jewess Jennifer Gould to interview the firebrand, and he told her that he wanted to rape her.
When she was stunned and argued the point. Zhirinovsky said something about coitus and perhaps rape was not the right word in English.

Jennifer Gould

Having seen enough Russian sphere babes, I know them to be more bone worthy. Gould looks like some vampiress, but maybe the allure of nailing an American would have had Mad Vlad porking something like Joy Behar too.

I think it cruel that with the end of the world coming and Russia center stage that the world will not have Vladimir Zhironsovksy to benefit from in his insights. I think he once told Playboy that we could fuck our way to peace.

His latest achievements were calling for the taking of Crimea, the partitioning of Ukraine, and telling the world of the date, 15 days before Russia would enter Ukraine. It was not like this was a surprise to anyone as everyone knew what MI6 had instigated.

The world is so much poorer without this fine Russian man. He should have left us with something like, so I would not have to say it:

When it comes to Ukraine, the Germans blew it up, Stalin killed 40 million and it is still here. I hope the 3rd times the charm with President Putin finishing the third course.

On presidential ambition
"My hands are clean, but if I ever become president, they'll be covered in blood."

On Russian language
"Don't make kids learn English. Let them study the Kalashnikov rifle instead. Then, the entire world will speak Russian soon.

On democracy in Russia
"Where did the mad cow disease come from? British democracy. What kind of democracy are you even talking about if 65% of Russia is permafrost?"

On his partial Jewish background
"Why would I ever renounce Russian blood, Russian culture, Russian land and love the entire Jewish people just because my father left a drop of Jewish blood in my mother's body?"

On smoking
"Let our people smoke. Smoking and drinking every day is the only salvation from suicide. If they stop smoking, they'll be hanging themselves."

On sex
"We'll introduce a new standard for sex lives: one time in three months. The young generation has a new standard thanks to porn and frivolous movies: the more the better. The less the better!"

More on sex
"Sex is a large part of my life, unfortunately."

On stress
"How do I deal with stress? I ordered cheap plates in every office. Won't regret smashing them if it comes to that."

On holidays
"On Friday, Muslims don't work, on Saturdays Jews don't work, on Sundays Orthodox Christians don't work. On Monday comes the revolution."

On women in politics
“Politics should be about sober calculations, there is no place for lyrics here… [Ukraine, Ex-Prime Minister Yulia] Tymoshenko is a woman, I’m sorry to say. I don’t like them, because it’s easier to make a woman change her mind.”

On the British government
“Not a single embassy in Moscow has diplomats as insolent as Britain’s. The most odious intelligence in the world is Britain’s MI-6. And the biggest spies are the British journalists. They get their paycheck from two places.”

Yes Vladimir Zhironovsky would have nuke England 3 times over and toast the world with chilled vodka from his nuclear bomb proof bunker with promising to soon impregnate Kate the way Russian troops did all the German women in 1945.

Nuff Said.

agtG