As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.
That ole Crazy Horse was a sly one. Buffalo humped that hood on the Ford F 250 so you could not get it open and then he never had any keys for it. Hard to get a pick up going if you can't start it.
The Holy Ghost though had some Inspired solutions and this is what you can do if you do not have keys or if you lose the keys to your vehicle or an Indian terrorist does not provide the keys to your genuine bonafied Battle of Little Big Horn Pick Up.
We were talking to Larry who ran us down in the parking lot, with his own tales of Indian country adventures, something about driving off cliffs while his brother was chasing cattle, and cattle that sounded rabid to me..............
When I mentioned the key, and Indians, he said, "I locked myself out of my van, 15 below zero, the van is running and there I stand. So I called up the dealer, and 15 minutes after I gave them the VIN number, I had a key."
So off we went to the Ford dealer hopeful they had something for this pick up.
Turns out the gal there was really nice. She mentioned something about a bucket of keys and people trying them. So I talked to the owner and he said, "Yeah we have 3 buckets of keys. You can take them and try them, and if you find one that works, bring it back and we will cut a key for it".
Just remember to bring back the bucket of keys.
So off we went, after paying JYG for our new shop on wheels, and I was excited.
The thing with Fords I learned is new Ford keys are fat and get stuck in the ignition slot. If you have an old Ford do not stick those plastic handled keys into the slot.
Fords are unique in they have a kind of SS Nazi shaped key slot. You can spot an old Ford key a mile off......well not too old as you get older than the 1960's and then they revert to a smaller key that looks like a house key.
Anyway, the round headed Ford keys are for trunks. They are SS Nazi backwards. You want the square head for ignition and pick up doors.
So I dumped the keys out on the sparkling glass shard seat and started trying keys. I kid you not.......the 5th key fit. The 6th key fit. 200 other keys did not fit after that.
The thing is.....neither key looks at all like the other. One key is flat on the entire one side, but they both work.
So I took the buckets of keys back. The guy was surprised and pleased they worked. So I talked to the head mechanic, and he said he would cut two for each key.
He came back a few minutes later and said, "I don't have any keys blanks. Just take those two as no one is going to miss them". I asked if he was sure and he grinned and away we went with the two Ford keys.
We went to the farm store to get two keys cut for each of these mismatches as I'm not going to lose any keys after this Crazy Pony disaster.
The gal cut them.........
We brought them home.
Let us just say they are unique. They have character. They have personality. They have nuance. They are the perfect keys really to stop theft, as unless you know the secret they do not work. I know that does not sound like a key, but in order for these keys to work, you kind of have to turn them to ACC first and then to START. The other secret is you have to have them pulled out about a cunt hair for them to engage the lock.
Yes perfect keys really.
I now have the two original keys having an aluminum wire staple for T posts and barbwire as a key chain for those two, and the other four personality keys are in the key box in my dresser with another fence staple key chain.
It may be of interest as my key box is from Great Aunt Lena, a woman who never smiled in her life. She was swarthy as a Bohemian, and I got his metal chocolate candy box from the mother when Lena was being sold out or something as she died of cancer. I keep allot of special things in that metal box. It must be older than this 1970 Ford.
So if you have key problems, you might talk to your dealer as they just may help. I now have genuine Ford keys, thee original genuine Ford ignition and it has a personality of it's own in wanting to engage, but that is ok as I like the thief proof aspect of this. Certainly is better than the drilling things out Gaytube advice as I was only going to do that as a last resort.
Two Chiefs already has a fan as we stopped and talked to Pirate Ken, who has lots of old cars. He mentioned his bus..............JYG mentioned the bus as apparently Pirate Ken had JYG over to pull that thing out of the mud bog in his yard and JYG snapped his two rope. I digress, but all of our circle of characters kind of know each other and they are non stop characters like the key that does not turn the ignition unless you know what to do with it.
JYG gave me a pressure washer for using the pet clippers we have. I can now use that to wash Two Chiefs engine off. JYG suggested oven cleaner on the engine. Good idea and will be a future episode.
I think I settled on Two Chiefs as the name for the pick up, because Squaw Man had a wife that had two chiefs she was related to. Sounds like a good mocking name for a pick up.
Anyway that is the key saga, and now I have more things to do in getting ready to see if this pick up will start.
Does not stink like 100 proof Indian and mice anymore since we cleaned her out. More like 90 proof if the wind is blowing hard.
PS: I checked gas by sticking some aluminum tube in the box down the gas tank hole as these old pick ups are big enough to crawl down. Crazy Pony left a quarter tank of gas in this old girl. Obviously he was planning a Ghost Dance repeat to steal my pony back and ride it back to Little Big Horn two.
Will be a good test to see how this pick up starts with gas 150 years old.
I think that little girl has a humpback Browning 410.
Nuff Said
agtG
agtG
