Tuesday, October 8, 2024

The Sussex Side of the Story



If my future were determined just by my performance on a standardized test, I wouldn't be here. I guarantee you that.
Michelle Obama





As another Lame Cherry exclusive in matter anti matter.




Call 911 



911 Operator: 911, for what city?
Caller: Monticeito
911 Operator: Do you require police, fire, or ambulance?
Caller: All please. Right away. It’s those British next door. They are at it again. Screaming. I think she tried  to run over him with their ATV.
911 Operator: What’s your address?
Caller: It’s *** Rockbridge Road.
911 Operator: What is the address of the incident for response?
Caller:  765 Rockbridge. You can hear the chickens making noise. They are really loud.  

911 Operator: Okay. I’m dispatching first responders, police and fire. But please stay on the line and provide more information. Is the situation dangerous.
Caller: Just for Harry I think. I don't think she will run over the responders as she is gunning for Harry's chickens right now.
911 Operator: Help is on the way. Now don’t hang up. Stay with me while I ask you a few questions. You said "gun" is there a weapon involved?
Caller: Not that I know of. She is gunning that electric motor though.
Operator: That’s G-U-N-N -I - N - G right?
Caller: That’s correct.
911 Operator: Can you tell me what happened?
Caller:  My border invader Juanita and I were measuring out the coke she brought in and having a little sex, when we heard this screaming again. It was something about calling her Kate during sex and not liking having him call her, her royal highness. There was that electric car revved up, more yelling, chickens squawking and what sounded like............I hear the sirens, the cops are over there now.



We now move to the statement by Los Angeles County Law Enforcement.


Sheriff's Deputy Nori Yamaguchi





When I arrived at the disturbance, I saw an electric ATV turned over in a coy pond. The coy were electrocuted and the scent of cooked fish was in the air.  I next noted a red haired male hiding in a tree, with a quadroon female pacing underneath, ranting over and over again, "Stop calling me Kate just before you cum".
I ordered the quadroon to take a seat on the bench by the dead coy pool, which she did after a frisk down. I then ordered the male to climb out of the tree. He attempted but fell from the tree. I frisked him, put him in restraints. He was cut up a bit and I told him to sit there and wait for medical attention.

First Responder Starla Jones




When I arrived, two humans were both in restraints. I quickly moved to the coy, but there was nothing which could be done. I tried the paddles, tried IV's, tried Adrenalin, but there was simply nothing that could be done to resuscitate them. 

I left as the people had several abrasions and contusions, but with budget cutbacks there is not any money for treating people in California, only illegals and animals.


The Meghan of Sussex tells her side of the story.




Do you know how hard it is to have sex with a white boy? It was like a straw in bathtub. I mean it only got worse after the kids. Can't feel a thing and all I hear is I need to make chimp sounds and he keeps calling me Kate. At least when I hear Kate, Kate, Kate three times I know he is done.
So like I don't see the big deal as this is not the first time I hit him with my big black dildo, "Spencer", and tried to run him over and killed a few of his chickens. I'm sorry about the coy, but that is the reality of being green and making my efforts with global warming in a few fish might be electrocuted.


Harry of Sussex, tells his side of the story.


I grew up masturbating to National Geographic. I told Mummy I wanted to be an anthropologist and go to Africa and that the pages were stuck together as the magazine came that way.
When you marry a quadroon, it is allot of adjustment. There is no conversation like Will and Kate have, there is not really sex as an English sausage kind of goes unnoticed in a sewer pipe. 
I swear I never said anything about Kate, I was saying "GREAT" over and over. That is when Meghan hit me with that black dong and broke my nose. I swear I never hit her and broke her nose, as she swings that dong around like a cricket bat and she hit herself. That is how I made my escape to the hen house, but she found me there and tried to run me over with our environmentally friendly electric ATV. A few of my hens got smushed, but we always eat them. I ran for a tree which I made so I could climb it, hid there, until the police arrived. I don't think I should have been arrested as I was not arrested for stressing Grammy out and killing her and Grampy...........maybe I should not have said that.






Lastly we hear from California Penal Warden, Karmen Kuratta.




This pair is here regular. Got their own rooms. We put Harry in with a big Negro and Harry likes being his bitch. We put Meghan in with this 400 pound tranny lezbo and we hear no complaints.




Prince - Jungle Love (Official Audio) - YouTube

Jun 22, 2019 ... Jungle Love” from Prince - 'Originals' written by Prince and first released commercially by Morris Day & The Time in 1984.




Nuff Said.


agtG